I have an awful habit of saying what’s in my head without realising I’m doing it. For example, my other half was having a go at me the other day after I moaned about not having crisps. He said “don’t you care that your eating habits and diabetes could make you go blind?” and my retort was “you obviously don’t care about going blind considering how many times I’ve caught you masturbating!” Now, my response was out of my mouth before I could take a breath – it was instantaneous and I don’t know where it came from. We fell about laughing, so much so that a little bit of wee almost came out!
Sometimes, self censorship is a great idea – I seem only to be able to do this when it comes to my employers…some of them have been truly awful and yet I never stand up to them, probably too concerned about paying my mortgage. One lady boss was terrible; she was married with a little girl and also sleeping with the CEO of the company we worked for, along with another chap at the same company. The CEO’s wife also worked there, as did his brother in law – who she decided to befriend so that she got invited to family gatherings…a terrible piece of work. She recruited me when I was fat, but decided to take a dislike to my fatness after I’d started. This new dislike of me just happened to coincide with me getting lots of praise from people within the company…jealous much?! We worked for a transport company and I was desperate to write “I’m not as dirty as Jxxxxxe Dxxxxr” across the back of the filthy lorries! We parted company, with her trying to pin ‘Gross Misconduct’ on me for someone stealing my laptop – despite this happening to a number of people and no action being taken against them. I left before any action was taken and found a better job…but still ended up working for a crazy!
Anyway, I’m losing my thread – I get very vexed over how I’ve been treated by crazy women in the workplace, and considering I worked in the HR field it’s even more shocking!
I couldn’t stop grinning the other day at a lady’s – and I use the term ‘lady’ very loosely – self censorship. I was sitting waiting for a hospital appointment when a very large lady walked in with her partner. They sat behind me and, after a few seconds, she said to her parter “am I as big as that lady over there?” to which he replied “no, she’s much bigger than you, she can hardly fit in that chair!” Now, as I was sat in a big chair especially for fat people, this was wounding! However, I couldn’t help but grin – she’d said this in a normal talking voice and not tried to conceal her question from me at all…the lady had balls. Well, she might literally have had balls…very masculine looking with huge, incorrectly spelt, tattoos all over her arms and back! I was still grinning when I went in for my appointment – I’ve asked my other half the same question a couple of times, and I think most people who are bigger compare themselves to other big people, but I’ve always done it well out of earshot and whispered the question!
A couple of hours later, and still grinning when I though about it, my niece was telling me about a horse she sat on whilst at a farm the day before. It was a Clydesdale (a big draft horse, Shire-sized) and we were messing around asking her how big it was…”was it at high as the door?” “it was as big as my room” “really – wow, that’s big” “it wasn’t as big as you though Auntie”…at which point I just had to laugh again…two insults in as many hours! One day, I’ll teach my niece a bit about self censorship, but for now it’s a case of ‘out of the mouths of babes’!
All has been well on the food front for the past few days. I’ve just started on some new injections for the diabetes – Victoza – which isn’t insulin but it designed to slow down your digestion so that you feel fuller for longer but also that your body can cope with the slower digestion and produce a suitable level of insulin itself. Some of the side effects I was told about can be dodgy, but so far all it’s making me do is sleep – and forget what day of the week it is…my other half’s Nan, who is in her mid-80’s, is more compos mentis than I am at the moment! I’m not having as many cravings as I used to either, but could still happily munch my way through a multipack of crisps…but have managed not yet to succumb!
Lots of love