I’m sitting in my comfy chair – it’s one of those oversized armchairs, but it fits my bum perfectly! – looking at my new treadmill. It’s an ex-gym treadmill – I had to buy a big commercial one due to my weight…the ones you can buy in Argos just don’t have big enough user weight limits – and it’s huge; in fact the dining table we had is now in the spare room as there isn’t enough space in the lounge! My heart is telling me to jump on the treadmill and go for a 30 minute walk – actually, it’s telling me to take the dog out for a walk in the fresh air – but my head (and my sore knee) is telling me to take it gently.
It’s very frustrating being trapped in a body that won’t allow you to do what you want. I’ve been overweight for as long as I can remember, but it’s never really stopped me from doing what I wanted to do. I rode horses until my early 20’s, used to go out clubbing and would dance all night long (and then head for a kebab and chips afterwards!) and was fairly active (including rolling down the stairs from top to bottom of one nightclub and managing to land on my feet!). A combination of a mouth that’s too big and a tummy that thinks it’s a bottomless pit, along with nightmare bosses, high pressure jobs and losing contact with friends, has seen me pile on the weight over the past ten years at a scary rate. At one point I lost 8 stone with Slimming World – but I’ve ended up putting that back on, plus another 7 stone.
I’ve rejoined Slimming World and have lost 1 stone 10 lbs so far. It’s been a tough ride and has taken me over six months to lose it. My online weight loss tracker and graph looks like a big dipper, which gives you an idea of the ups and downs I’ve had over the past few months! However, I have a fantastic consultant who is incredibly supportive and I know that I’ll get there. Slimming World works, but like every healthy eating plan, you have to commit to it!
So, back to ‘Head vs Heart’ – I think my focus is going to be on dropping a couple of stone before I embark upon my exercise plan. At the moment I’m just doing a few minutes each day, but this is still causing my knees pain – as you would expect if you weigh over 40 stone. I’m just thanking my lucky stars that I’m not needing firemen to take down the side of my house to get me out of it…more on this later though – as I have some thoughts about people who have to experience this sort of assistance. My head is going to give my heart a talking to, and will explain that I did not get to this size overnight and that it’s going to take a while to get to where I want to be…trying to run before I can walk is not a good idea…but I’ve never been someone who takes the easy route.
Thanks for reading,