Frustration – I really shouldn’t be feeling this after losing another 2.5lbs today, taking my total loss to 10st 13lbs…but one little extra lb would have secured me my 11st award today! Ah well, next week, it will be mine! So that’s 153lbs lost now – not a bad job at all…just another 300 to go! I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, given that I started exercising again – which always slows my losses for the first couple of weeks – and am back on the tablets – which make my ankles swell up – so I was pleased with the loss!
Group was brilliant today. I had a lovely catch up with a couple of ladies who make me laugh, which was great. I did get a bit frustrated though as one woman’s phone kept going off – and not discreetly either…she has ‘Gangnam Style’ as her bloody ring tone – and she actually sat and had two conversations whilst our consultant was in the middle of her talk. So rude – and a lot of the other members were also rolling their eyes. One of my big issues is people not being polite enough to listen, and carrying on conversations whilst people are trying to talk to the group about their week. It’s not a fecking coffee morning, it’s a weight loss group – designed as such so that people all have their say and get an opportunity to talk to the consultant and the rest of the group. I would have a gossips corner and send the rude people off to this I think!! I did tell her on the way out that I could show her how to switch I on silent before group next week…I think she got the message!
There were a few other ‘argh’ moments for me too today. I am trying so hard to understand the psychology behind slimming, as it’s important to me to be successful. So I like to listen to people and their struggles, to try and make sense of why we do this – why we eat until we are overweight, and why we find it hard at times to do something about it. One school of thought is that it’s just greed and laziness – and in some case, this is entirely plausible. In others however, things run much deeper, and it’s this area that I am most interested in. So I do find myself trying to hide my incredulity when I hear some really silly things! Such as one lady who had been on an all inclusive break, and was telling me how awful the food was, and that there was nothing for her to eat. She did mention that they had eggs and fruit for breakfast – but focused on the pastries and bread. She also mentioned chicken, rice, cous cous, pasta and potatoes for lunch – but focused on the fact that there were no sandwiches! And she then went on to say that there was nothing to eat for dinner, that it was all carbs (Green day, perhaps?) but that there was plenty of alcohol and that she managed to get through loads of it. Okay, so on holiday you want to kick back and relax…which is what I have done in the past on a number of occasions. But I don’t then come back expecting a huge loss, or complaining about the food – when clearly an omelette and fruit for breakfast, with cous cous for lunch, etc, would have been a perfectly acceptable source of food for the Slimming World plan. Yet again the focus is on all of the ‘bad’ stuff…instead of it being on what could have been eaten. I was told that there was no beef, no lamb, no meat dishes…but I know differently having travelled in this region – which is full of meat and vegetable stews and tagines…but there was a McDonalds next door apparently. Could this have been the problem, along with the unlimited supply of alcohol perhaps?!! I restrained myself, as it isn’t my place to criticise people when I myself have issues, but I did gently suggest that alcohol and McDonalds would do more damage than cous cous…it did make me chuckle inside a little.
There was also a conversation about how to make lower syn pizza using the Warburtons sandwich thins. A thin crust tuna pizza from Asda works out at 40 syns…but a homemade sandwich thin version could be enjoyed for as little as 5 syns. One lady piped up that she loves Asda pizzas as they will make them for you with your choice of veggies…not realising that the pizza base contains the majority of the syns. This is the same lady who wanted to know why the Slimming World quiche doesn’t contain pastry! We explained – again – that anything with bread, dough or pastry is likely to be high in syns. It really makes me wonder what she must eat, thinking that it’s on plan, and I also wonder why she never thinks to look into these things before eating them! Bless her!
It was interesting to hear from the lovely retired couple in group today. The wife cooks all of the meals and they eat the same food as each other, and similar portions, yet never share the same weight loss results. He loses, she gains or stays the same, and visa versa. He has also been exercising and having mixed results with losses too. So really there is no simple fix or solution! You can eat the same food, but your body will react differently. You can do similar amounts of exercise, but your body reacts differently. I really like this couple – he is so funny and they wind each other up, but you can tell they love each other. I don’t know how old there are…I think he is in his 70s…I hope my other half and I are still in love at that age. I often keep in touch with him on Facebook during the week – it’s lovely to have the mutual support and ribbing we give each other!
And there were more interesting confessions – but unwittingly done confessions. During my time in recruitment I have conducted too many interviews to remember, and asked questions of people when I know they haven’t been giving me the full story. I had two ways of dealing with this – keep probing, and ask more questions – or stay silent. Staying silent is slightly cruel and I would only use this technique on cocky buggers – not those who displayed signs of anxiety or nerves. And the cocky buggers would talk, and talk, and talk. Eventually, they would talk so much that they often forgot what they initially said and would then contradict themselves…and then I would pounce! It was quite good fun at times! With the more nervous candidates, I would ask further questions and ask them to repeat different parts of their stories, but in a different way – so the outcome first, or the action they took. And they too would slip up. What has this got to do with a Slimming World group then? Well, another big ‘tell’ for those not being honest and upfront is that they rush…they spill their guts very quickly and talk in a way that means you can’t stop them and ask a question – they think they won’t be found out that way! Next time you are in group listen carefully and you will hear this happen. The one today was “well-I’ve-not-been-well-so-tired-wisdom-tooth-coming-through-so-no-appetite-but-I-have-eaten-everything-in-sight.” It was said in a few seconds, no breath, no speech punctuation…and then ended with a really backward confession. The ‘eating everything in sight’ was the problem, not the ‘not been well, so tired, wisdom tooth, no appetite.’ That is the cause. The cause and the problem are different. The problem is as a result of the cause…the problem can become a solution. The solution can be chicken noodle soup / any soups, slow cooker meals, jacket potatoes – quick and easy and on plan meals. I know this is far easier said than done. And if it isn’t done then just say so – just say that I have eaten badly because I felt ill and couldn’t be bothered to stay on plan, or wasn’t able to stay on plan. We only cheat ourselves with excuses!
Please remember here though that I am not claiming to be an angel. I can be just as bad. But spotting and discussing these sorts of things that crop up in group can be helpful to me in identifying my own destructive behaviour. And I have told the people I talk about in my blog that I write one now – even pizza/quiche lady – and that I mention them (but none have asked to read it!) and they are fine with this! To be fair they probably can’t remember anyway, as we all live in our own bubbles! I do not speak about anything in the blog that I haven’t already discussed with them, or that I would discuss with them – and yes, for those of you that remember ‘soup-gate’, I even spoke to this lady about it and told her about the furore it caused. She promised to make a soup from scratch! I don’t really mind how people want to eat, but I do mind it when they convince themselves things are okay and then spout this rubbish to others. I don’t want anyone thinking that I speak ill about people – this blog is to help me make sense of my crazy eating habits, and all of these experiences contribute to that…I guess I just thought I would never have any readers!
I’ve was on twitter yet again today, and saw this before I attended my group this morning – ‘@SlimmingWorldNW: People who attend #slimmingworld are at least three times more likely to succeed than if they slim alone.’ Now, I don’t know where this statistic came from, but I have read and heard similar statements. I am a Slimming World devotee as you are all aware by now, but I don’t think this stat relates exclusively to members of Slimming World…bless them! Any group / club / support network which means you don’t have to go it alone produces better results for people trying to change their habits. I have tried to follow my plan from home before, having multiple packs of info from the numerous times I have rejoined, but it never works for me. I need my group and wouldn’t be without them; it’s why I encourage people to join a group if at all possible. I think the accountability of a group, the encouragement, the support, the ideas, the shoulder to cry on at times, the shared experiences, the ups and the downs…well, I could go on, but I won’t! To me, this is well worth the weekly fee! I do often hear about people not attending group and sometimes want to ask why they don’t, but I try and stop myself as everyone is different. Some might not have the money, some might not have a local group, some might just pay and weigh – never knowing the benefits of staying to group, some might not have gelled with the local consultant…but for me, it is priceless. And these stats have to come from somewhere – if I knew I could give myself three times more likelihood of success, I’d grab it with both hands…and I have – Slimming World won’t get rid of me easily now!!
I also saw a great tweet by Simon Cowell last night, in which he said, “What I have realised is there will be bumps in your life but the fun is fixing them. If it was always easy life would be boring.” And he’s right! Love him or loathe him, the man does speak sense and although his comments can appear harsh at times, he rarely gives false hope to people. I would actually love to see a Simon Cowell version of a slimming club…”Oh, so it was the fruit you ate that made you put a pound on…what about the burger and chips from the DriveThru, or that kebab on Saturday after the copious amount of alcohol?!” Haha – he would tell it straight and would put those who could handle his directness on the right path! I think that any Slimming World / Weight Watchers / Rosemary Conley etc consultant has a really hard job in terms of this challenge. Too harsh and direct and they might lose your custom – which they often rely on to form part of their income; yet not direct enough sometimes allows people to keep ignoring the obvious flaws in their ‘perfect’ week on plan…a bit like an out-of tune singer who believes they are brilliant…until Simon gets hold of them. And for the record, I don’t actually watch most of Simons shows…I don’t like the laughter at people who clearly have issues; I don’t think that’s entertainment, regardless of the giggles it might raise! Call me a boring killjoy, but I just don’t think it’s nice viewing.
Onto the usuals then…
We got up a little earlier than usual today, so we could get the horses sorted before heading off to group. We’d had another successful nights sleep with the dog on the floor next to the bed…result…and we took her with us again so she could have a mooch and get some fresh air. The birds at the yard seem to play with her, and have her running all over the place – it’s quite funny watch…most of the time she gives up and just finds a nice sunny patch to lie in! We then headed across town to my group, and it was the first time that I went in on my own today – sob! My other half is working on the promotion of a major new app and had to hit the press and tech bloggers quite hard today…so he stayed in the car with the dog whilst I was a big brave girl and went in alone. I jest really, as I am perfectly fine on my own in group now; he came with me initially as I was worried about people staring, about needing help if I passed out – something that felt it would happen regularly when I was at my heaviest – or if I had a panic attack, again something which has happened a few times at my heaviest…and when I am worried about going out in public. Frustrates the hell out of me, as I used to be so confident and really didn’t care. But I reckon confidence is like a bank account – you have a balance and can make little deposits when good things happen…but it can be drained through bad experiences, the comments people make etc! Most people are nice enough, it is just that the bad experiences stick in your mind! I then had to report into my niece today after class…she wanted to know if I’d won the fruit – sob, I hadn’t this week – and she wanted to know if I was using my healthy corner…the treadmill, weights and boxing…and was pleased when I reported that I was! I had a lovely afternoon with the kids and then headed home for a nice evening with my wonderful other half.
Lunch: Two turkey salad sandwiches
Dinner: Jacket potato, beans, coleslaw, cheese and tuna.
Snacks: Squares crisps.
I have had the little demons encouraging me and I am more ‘Weight Loss Destructive Devil’ than ‘Weight Loss Bitch’ today. Some people don’t have treats after weigh in, some do, some save syns for the weekend, some have them through the week. I used to have a total blow out after weigh in, but wanted to move away from this behaviour – which I feel is destructive for me as it reminds me of my habits of old. Or not so old as the case may be! Today, I really felt like pizza, sausage rolls, multipacks of crisps, family sized chocolate bars and a takeaway – this is what would have been on my list. And I would have done it if it weren’t for taking a couple of minutes to think and talking it through with my other half. I did want my crisps, and I was craving bread. So this went on the menu. I eventually settled on jacket potato for dinner, but couldn’t decide on the toppings…so went a bit mad here! I am going to work the syns out and scare myself now…
…77 in total today. Argh…crazy! I worked out all possible values, as I wasn’t really on any plan – for Green, Original and Extra Easy, and Extra Easy came out lowest. Had I given this more consideration and decided on EE before hitting the shops, I wouldn’t have had as much cheese on my potato, or the second sandwich – as one was enough – and would have saved 18 syns. Can you imagine how many would have been in what I initially wanted though? So, the 77 syns break down as follows – 30 for the crisps, 18 for the extra bread, 5 for the salad cream, 18 for the coleslaw and 6 for the extra cheese. My weekly allowance is a bit more than the norm – at 140 vs the 105 you normally get, so I have decided to deduct today’s disaster off my total – giving 63 – and this will be my syns for the week ahead…although I don’t plan on using that many! This calculation has really helped to put things into perspective for me – and I wonder if doing the same for anyone else who has ‘treats’ after group would help them? And, I’ve also been left with an upset stomach and feeling a bit pants and frustrated with myself. Why do I always need to learn the hard way? Why can I not just realise this binge would end badly? But I can pull it back through the reduction of syns for the week; not ideal, but syns are syns whatever day of the week they are consumed, this doesn’t bother me…it’s the bad eating patterns and habits that do!
Exercise: None today – my planned day of rest…and it was needed after yesterday’s exertions, my knees are stiff and a little sore – but it’s all good! I looked at the muck-heap whilst I was at the stables this morning, and it’s spreading out and threatening to take over the yard. So my next little challenge to myself is to get a fork out and start moving it, bit by bit. That will be marvellous Body Magic…if a little smelly!
Loads of squishy hugs and happiness!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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