Before I get started, I have to apologise – as I am going to have a little rant today which most of you probably heard all about yesterday via Facebook or Twitter. My shock at the fact that someone couldn’t make at soup by the time they were in their mid-30s seemed to cause a bit of uproar. I was quite shocked, as some people started to intimate that I was being mean, unsupportive and critical…when in fact, most of you that know ‘me’ will know that I am anything but this! So I wanted to clarify a few points, for my own sanity more than anything else – as this kept me up for most of the night!
Firstly, I am not criticising the person. I would never do this. In this persons case I actually sat with them in group and talked through the new book, explained the types of meals they could have, discovered what their favourite foods were so that we could identify alternatives. I also contacted her via our group FB page to check how she was getting on during her first week. I did this because my consultant asked me to, because she trusts me – I know the plan very well, I have had an element of success, and I like to help people.
What I am criticising is the situation. If you think about it logically, it is ludicrous that a person can say ‘I can’t cook, and I wouldn’t know how to start to make a soup’ which is what was said. Logic here people – if you have ever eaten soup in your life, you could take a guess at what goes in it! You would know that you would need a pan to make it in, some water, and some ingredients – that is your starting point. So to say that you wouldn’t know where to start is an incredibly silly thing to say – in fact it’s not silly, it’s lazy – it shows that you haven’t given it the slightest bit of thought. If you were to say, ‘I’m not sure how to make a soup’, then this is slightly different. I know how to make some stuff, yet I still ring my mum to check how long to roast a chicken for – or I read the instructions on the back of the packet!
Secondly, I am not saying – as some people alluded to – that learning to cook is all it will take for us to lose weight. That would be ludicrous of me – how the hell did I reach 43st if that was the case…as I know how to cook?! What I am saying is that learning to cook healthy meals, from scratch, will give you and your body the best possible chance of getting to that target weight you have in mind. Learning to cook has to form part of your ‘Slim Down Strategy’ – just as trying to exercise more needs to, and just as trying to identify the ‘head’ reasons as to why you needed the food that made you fat in the first place needs to. Along with this there are visualisation techniques, ‘self-care’ time…and all of the other things that I have mentioned in previous blogs.
Thirdly, I am aware that there are people out there who THINK that they are useless cooks. I was one of them – ask my mum! I actually was useless. I set the kitchen on fire trying to make a stir-fry and then poisoned the dog with the charred remains as I’d thrown the burning pan out of the back door…the dog happened to like the smell of the burning remains and ate them! I have cooked a chicken with the bag of giblets inside, I have cooked a pizza with the polystyrene backing still on it, I have even grilled a roast dinner as I didn’t know how to use the cooker properly. I have given myself and others food poisoning, I have put far too much chilli in food, I haven’t used enough flavours in food, etc, etc. But guess what, this was done whilst I was trying to ‘experiment’ without following a recipe! Had I been using a recipe, then these things might not have happened. Oh, and I also left an iron – the type you use to to take creases out of clothes – on top of the cooker whilst I was cooking, and melted it to the top of the grill…it looked like a modern art piece. Do I get all uppity and feel as if people are taking the mickey out of me if they talk about this? No, because I know I was a plonker – and I know that I am not a particularly great chef! Whenever I invite someone over for dinner, they accept with a rather tentative look on their faces.
But my bookcase now has loads of recipe books – Jamie Oliver, Gok Wan, books about slow cooking, Slimming World books, low fat recipe books. I also use the Internet to look for basic recipes. I am not trying to emulate the dudes off Masterchef – I am just aiming to be able to cook healthy meals for myself and my other half, and for anyone else who cares to join us for a meal! Following a recipe is simple – and unless there is a medical reason for you not to be able to do so – then there really is no excuse!
Fourthly – if there is such a word as fourthly – saying that your Slimming World group is wonderful because you can be yourself, without being judged for being silly or stupid is fine…as long as you aren’t intimating that my group is anything different based on the so-called ‘harsh’ comments I have made. I would like to think that any group people attend – be it with Slimming World, Rosemary Conley, Weight Watchers, or a BodyPump class at a gym – allow you to do this. After all, you are clearly making steps to change your life. And for the record, my class is fantastically supportive – yes, even to those who can’t make soup…in fact I sat with a chap last week and told him how to make one, as he’d tried but found it bland! My consultant is a high performer, highly decorated, runs a number of classes and has had great successes – members of her groups have appeared in a number of magazines and have won Slimming World titles. Does this mean she doesn’t want to bury her head in her hands at times in frustration with people? I doubt it, but she does a very good job of hiding it. People feel free to say what they need to…but it doesn’t mean other people can’t question them about it…one man didn’t know what toppings to put on a jacket potato last week, so we all have him ideas and had a little giggle – just as he did! We support each other on the group FB page, and last week I was complimented by a number of people on my supportiveness…so stick that in your shop bought soup and choke on it!!
Finally, making comments on my Facebook page defending the fact people cannot cook at the age of 30 does not make you look – tolerant, nicer than me, clever, sympathetic, accepting of other points of view etc. In fact it just goes some way as to emphasise why this country is in the mess it is. If you want someone to pat you on the head and tell you that it’s fine not to know how to cook, perhaps go back to nursery or school – where it is acceptable to not to know how to do ‘adult’ things. If you are old enough to drink, to have sex, to drive, to vote, to smoke – then you are sure as hell old enough to pick up a cook book and learn how to make a nutritious meal. How the hell do you expect to provide for you or your family without such basic skills? And I’m not talking just about soup here – you might not like the stuff, in which case it’s perfectly acceptable not to cook it – I am talking about the basics…someone even mentioned having a friend who didn’t know how to boil pasta! No bloody wonder that horsemeat makes it into our food chain when we can’t even cook the basics…people probably don’t even know what a fecking cow looks like…they just eat it in processed shite! I don’t think people defending this behaviour and seeing the other point of view is helpful, especially when the other point of view is absolutely pathetic! They don’t know how to cook…just as I didn’t know how to…so pick up a book, watch a TV programme, go online and watch step by step YouTube videos, enroll on a college course, ask your friend to show you how to make their nicest recipe – take responsibility! Sympathy for the other point of view is not needed here, action is needed; don’t defend this behaviour, offer constructive criticism and help them…which is what I am, and have been trying to do all along. And as for not having the confidence? Rubbish – if you have the confidence to go out drinking all night, to bring up children, to hold down a job, to deal with household bills and chores, to speak with doctors about medical issues, to walk into a Slimming World class – you’ve got more than enough confidence to try and learn to cook a few basic dishes.
I started this blog, and the FB page to document my journey – and I will continue to do so, just as I will continue to express my shock at certain things that happen along the way! Whilst I do this I will remember that you can’t get your point across at times with 140 characters on Twitter, or on a Facebook post. I will also remember that most people agreed with me, and I will try not to so desperately want to please everyone – not everyone will agree with me, but I do like to be liked…so I need to get over my childishness and perhaps I need to go back to nursery too…it was so much simpler back in those days! Also, I remain anonymous for reasons other than not wanting people who know the ‘real me’ to know my weight and how bad I let myself get. I do it so that I can discuss the challenges I’ve faced – such as my horrid ex-boss who was bullying me whilst she was shagging the CEO amongst other people, despite being married with a young daughter – without being sued! It also helps that nobody from my SW groups is on here, or knows about my ‘Weight Loss Bitch’ moniker – so I am able to talk freely…not ripping people to pieces, but just highlighting some of the crazy reasons that I think contribute towards the highly publicised obesity crisis. I just want people to be successful and in order to change yourself, you need to change…perhaps learning to cook would be a good starting point?!
So my conclusions are:
#1 You can’t please everyone.
#2 You can’t help people that don’t want to be helped.
#3 Some people will remain lazy, expect to be spoon-fed, anticipate miracles, but stay fat!
#4 Adding the words ‘just saying’ after a comment does not make what you’ve said valid, more mature, relevant, correct, or well thought out – grow up!
#5 I will do what I am doing, and if people don’t like it, they can feck off!
Oh, and I also lost a blog reader as I made a controversial comment about Oscar Pistorius…jeez…how will I ever cope?! I will cope because I am changing my life and know that in order to do this, the things I was doing need to change…’just saying’!!!
So today’s usuals were fairly normal really…apart from my self-doubt mood!
We got up – after I was woken by that bloody car alarm again – and I got on with some exercise, grabbed breakfast, quickly checked FB and Twitter and then headed out to see the horses. They were all perfectly happy and were being entertained by the ponies in the field next door who were all doing impressions of wild stallions fighting! Once we had sorted the neddies out, we popped to Asda, went home, I jumped on the treadmill (urgh!) after some prompting by my other half…his version of prompting was to say “just stop moaning and get on the bloody thing”…no sympathy in my house…and then had some lunch. I also completed my online ‘Equine Nutrition’ course which, whilst it wasn’t hugely informative for me specifically, confirmed that I was already feeding my horses the correct balance and type of food. Unfortunately – as mentioned in a recent blog post – there are those that feed the wrong type of feeds to the wrong breeds, at incorrect levels for their workloads, so it was nice to have it reaffirmed that I am doing the right thing by my beautiful horses. I then popped down to see my sister as my printer has buggered up and she was helping me print off my progress pictures for my inspiration board!
I was pleasantly surprised that I could notice a significant difference in the pictures I took in July last year, to those I took at the end of January – which show an 8st difference. You might think, ‘of course there’d be a difference’, but I kind of remain the same sort of size for quite a while really…no dramatic differences between 43st and 33st – although my face is thinner and my middle tyre isn’t pushing my arms out so much now!! So I caught up with my sister – she has decided to stop going to SW and to try and do it from home instead…as she works evenings and struggles to get to a group. I really would like her to keep at it so I am going to keep taking my magazines round and planning some meals with her too…we had planned a target trip to New York for shopping, and I don’t want to be going it alone…I’d be like bloody Macaulay Culkin! Once I’d finished getting mauled around by my niece and nephew, it was home for a catch up on FB and Twitter and then dinner, before settling down for the night to watch ‘Revenge’…I do really want to be kick-ass like Emily!!!
Breakfast: Banana, apple, orange and Benefit bar.
Lunch: Two toasted wholemeal rolls topped with fried red onion, mushroom and cherry tomatoes, with two Quorn burgers.
Dinner: Re-cooked roast potatoes, pepper, cherry tomatoes, mushrooms, red onion with garlic and herb phili light stirred through it, two Quorn sticky fillets with salad.
Snacks: Packet of Snack a Jacks.
The orange at breakfast was really sour – even the dog turned her nose up at it. So breakfast was really an orange segment, half an apple – the dog shares it with me! – the banana and the benefit bar! Lunch was just a thrown together dish of fridge stuff but it was gorgeous! Dinner was designed to use up yet more fridge stuff and the leftover roasties and Philli light…and it was delicious too if a little rich for me! I couldn’t resist a packet of Snack a Jacks whilst watching Revenge…although I doubt my hero Emily eats snacks whilst watching TV.
Exercise: BodyPump, Boxercise, Sit-ups, Dancercise, treadmill – 55 minutes.
I woke up with a stuffy nose so decided to leave the treadmill until later on in the day. I got on with the first two activities, did the second two at the stables, and then finally the treadmill once I was home – so two sessions of 20 minutes and then 15 on the treadmill…breaking it down into smaller chunks helps as I don’t think I could do it one after the other!
Thank you for letting me rant…and please, if you ever think that I am not doing what I do, and saying what I say, with the best interests at heart – email me and give me a nudge!
Lots of Monday hugs and squishes,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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