A wonderful day spent with my friend got me thinking about how life is just a pile of crap at times. And no, don’t roll your eyes, it’s not a ‘poor me’ post – more of ‘suck it up and bloody get on with it’ one!
If you saw my friend and I stood side by side, you would laugh. She is the exact opposite of me – at the other end of the spectrum weight-wise. We are similar in many ways, but not in looks! Yet we do share many food related issues. She eats well, yet can’t put on weight. And so we sit and talk for hours about food – and it’s great! She ‘gets’ me and I ‘get’ her – and I have confided in her about my starting weight, knowing that she wouldn’t judge me. She loves her food and is a wonderful chef. She loves preparing food for people to enjoy and is planning to have a look at Slimming World recipes…in fact, I think she is going to tackle the squid in the ‘Taste of Asia’ book for me…excited! I adore spending time with her, and we don’t get to see each other enough.
Anyway, when I say that life is a pile of crap, we sat and talked about what had been going on over the past few months, and there were some things that just aren’t great. Things that are happening within her family and friends, and things in mine too, that just make you question why. Why do bad things happen to good people? But hey, it’s life really…you just have to crack on with it. But as you know, I like to look into things a little deeper and so I did something I haven’t before. I typed into Google the words, ‘why do bad things happen to good people’…I have typed many questions before, but never this one!
I was inundated with responses yet only read the first link as the answer kind of made sense to me. The response was, ‘But what if we found the answer? What if someone came along and gave us a satisfying explanation? What if the mystery were finally solved? What if we asked why, and actually got an answer? If this ultimate question were answered, then we would be able to make peace with the suffering of innocents. And that is unthinkable. Worse than innocent people suffering is others watching their suffering unmoved. And that’s exactly what would happen if we were to understand why innocents suffer. We would no longer be bothered by their cry, we would no longer feel their pain, because we would understand why it is happening.’
And then the response went on, ‘And so, if we could make sense of innocent people suffering, if we could rationalise tragedy, then we could live with it. We would be able to hear the cry of sweet children in pain and not be horrified. We would tolerate seeing broken hearts and shattered lives, for we would be able to neatly explain them away. Our question would be answered, and we could move on.’
Now I don’t want to get all deep and meaningful on a Saturday night, but I am sure we have all wondered, ‘why me?’ Or we have all watched some tragedy unfold – the recent Boston bombings for example…senseless and so far with no explanation – and wondered why. Or we have heard stories of child abuse, or rape. And then you hear stories of questionable people ‘getting away’ with their crimes and behaviour. Anyone with any moral decency would question why such things happen, and anyone willing to question why would rightly feel a sense of outrage and would be appalled. And this is the crux of things for me – if there was a decent and justifiable explanation as to why, then we could make sense of it…and making sense of things tends to take away such feelings.
Yet, in my opinion, action tends to happen when people feel strongly about something. People protest, people petition, people rally…action. Action leads to further action. I thought back to my post about charity and wondered what would have happened if we took no action. No donations to charity. I wondered about compassion – if I could make sense of why things happened, would it lead to a lack of compassion. I feel that I am rambling now – that’s what a day in the sun does to me…I think it melts my fat and clogs my brain up! – but I am just trying to urge you not to try and make sense of some things. Some things just ‘are’. Not everything has an explanation!
If I look at it from a weight loss perspective, I cannot tell you how many times I have sat there, depressed, wondering ‘why me?’ Well, quite frankly, it is bloody obvious. I sat and ate, and ate, and ate. And I sat, and sat, and sat. I let myself get to this stage. I don’t have a serious illness – I created one. So I can get myself out of this situation. I don’t want to rationalise it, as getting to 43st+ is not something you can rationalise or justify – I want action. I want to feel a bit of anger, and I want to push myself towards sorting this problem out.
I don’t want to trivialise serious world issues and link them to my weight loss campaign – that would bloody stupid and highly insensitive of me. But, my weight loss is important to me – it is almost my world at the moment. I need to get me right and then I can spend time fighting other battles! So if you are sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, just crack on and take some action…join me in my little crusade! Question why and question how and question what can be done – but don’t expect an answer as to the ‘why me’ question…and don’t waste too much time looking for one.
I am now off to see if someone slipped something in my drink today…rambling monster that I am!
Today’s usuals don’t need covering off in too much detail…
I got up early after the dog tried to eat the postman, and had a nice shower. I then got ready to meet my friend, but quickly popped down to see the kids and my Dad who was there doing some DIY! The kids were on fine form and had dragged my friend in to see them…I don’t think they wanted her to leave as they did their trick of barricading the door. It was then a quick trip to Asda, followed by a lazy day in the sunshine catching up. Once I was home, I started to get freezing cold – am I the only one that this happens to after a day outdoors? Goose-bumps and shivers…the works! So we decided to head up to bed early and watch a couple more episodes of Plebs and the Ice Cream Girls.
Breakfast: Porridge, scan bran and almond milk (9.5 syns) with a banana.
Today’s food was lovely! Breakfast was the usual, and quite filling. Lunch had been kindly provided by my friend who had bought a nice selection of fruit and the Eat Natural bars for us to munch on…don’t worry, I didn’t eat everything that was in the pic I took! Dinner is a favourite, and I was so pleased to find the ‘beef’ Quorn burgers as they are syn free…somehow a burger tastes better when it is syn free. Not many syns left for evening snacks, so I am heading to bed early to watch more Plebs…which will keep me out of the fridge! 😉
Exercise: None – just a lovely lazy day chatting with lovely people!
I hope that your Saturday has been as wonderful as mine has been,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx