I decided to lift this little beauty off the bookcase this evening…
I bloody love the colder evenings when you can get nice and cosy…and I love walking in the front door to the smells of a delicious meal in my slow cooker. I have rustled up some gorgeous dishes – lamb tagine, chickpea dhal, butternut squash risotto, curries, and soups of all kinds.
When I was flicking through the soup recipes I started to chuckle, remembering an ‘incident’ that happened when I began blogging and using Twitter. This incident was labelled as ‘soup-gate’ and caused a bit of a ruckus with me being labelled as a bully. It all started when someone said that they had no idea how to make a soup…which turned into me having a rant. I thought that you might want a giggle, so I decided to share with you what I wrote back then…see what you think! 😉
Here we go…
Before I get started, I have to apologise – as I am going to have a little rant today which most of you probably heard all about yesterday via Facebook or Twitter. My shock at the fact that someone couldn’t make at soup by the time they were in their mid-30s seemed to cause a bit of uproar. I was quite shocked, as some people started to intimate that I was being mean, unsupportive and critical…when in fact, most of you that know ‘me’ will know that I am anything but this. So I wanted to clarify a few points, for my own sanity more than anything else – as this kept me up for most of the night!
Firstly, I am not criticising the person. I would never do this. In this persons case I actually sat with them in my Slimming World group and talked through the new book, explained the types of meals they could have, discovered what their favourite foods were so that we could identify alternatives. I also contacted her via our group FB page to check how she was getting on during her first week. I did this because my consultant asked me to, because she trusts me – I know the plan very well, I have had an element of success, and I like to help people.
What I am criticising is the situation. If you think about it logically, it is ludicrous that a person can say ‘I can’t cook, and I wouldn’t know how to start to make a soup’ which is what was said. Look at it logically – if you have ever eaten soup in your life, you could take a guess at what goes in it! You would know that you would need a pan to make it in, some water, and some ingredients – that is your starting point. So to say that you wouldn’t know where to start is an incredibly silly thing to say – in fact it’s not silly, it’s lazy – it shows that you haven’t given it the slightest bit of thought. If you were to say, ‘I’m not sure how to make a soup’, then this is slightly different. I know how to make some stuff, yet I still ring my mum to check how long to roast a chicken for – or I read the instructions on the back of the packet!
Secondly, I am not saying – as some people alluded to – that learning to cook is all it will take for us to lose weight. That would be ludicrous of me – how the hell did I reach 43st+ if that was the case…as I know how to cook?! What I am saying is that learning to cook healthy meals, from scratch, will give you and your body the best possible chance of getting healthy, or reaching that target weight that you have in mind. Learning to cook has to form part of your ‘Slim Down and Get Healthy Strategy’ – just as trying to exercise more needs to, and just as trying to identify the ‘head’ reasons as to why you felt that you needed the food that made you fat in the first place needs to. Along with this there are visualisation techniques, ‘self-care’ time…and all of the other things that I have mentioned in previous blogs.
Thirdly, I am aware that there are people out there who THINK that they are useless cooks. I was one of them – ask my mum! I actually was useless. I set the kitchen on fire trying to make a stir-fry and then poisoned the dog with the charred remains as I’d thrown the burning pan out of the back door…the dog happened to like the smell of the burning remains and ate them! I have cooked a chicken with the bag of giblets inside, I have cooked a pizza with the polystyrene backing still on it, I have even grilled a roast dinner as I didn’t know how to use the cooker properly. I have given myself and others food poisoning, I have put far too much chilli in food, I haven’t used enough flavours in food, etc, etc. But guess what, this was done whilst I was trying to ‘experiment’ without following a recipe! Had I been using a recipe, then these things might not have happened. Oh, and I also left an iron – the type you use to to take creases out of clothes – on top of the cooker whilst I was cooking, and melted it to the top of the grill…it looked like a modern art piece. Do I get all uppity and feel as if people are taking the mickey out of me if they talk about this? No, because I know I was a plonker – and I know that I am not a particularly great chef! Whenever I invite someone over for dinner, they accept with a rather tentative look on their faces. 🙂
But my bookcase now has loads of recipe books – Jamie Oliver, Gok Wan, books about slow cooking, Slimming World books, low fat recipe books. I also use the Internet to look for basic recipes. I am not trying to emulate the dudes off Masterchef – I am just aiming to be able to cook healthy meals for myself and my other half, and for anyone else who cares to join us for a meal! If you worry about wasting time and money and buggering up, then follow a recipe. Following a recipe is simple – and unless there is a medical reason for you not to be able to do so – then there really is no excuse! 🙂
Fourthly – if there is such a word as fourthly – saying that your Slimming World group is wonderful because you can be yourself, without being judged for being silly or stupid is fine…as long as you aren’t intimating that my group is anything but this based on the so-called ‘harsh’ comments I have made. I would like to think that any group people attend – be it with Slimming World, Rosemary Conley, Weight Watchers, or a BodyPump class at a gym – allow you to do this. After all, you are clearly making steps to change your life. And for the record, my class is fantastically supportive – yes, even to those who can’t make soup…in fact I sat with a chap last week and told him how to make one, as he’d tried but found it bland! My consultant is a high performer, highly decorated, runs a number of classes and has had great successes – members of her groups have appeared in a number of magazines and have won Slimming World titles. Does this mean she doesn’t want to bury her head in her hands at times in frustration with people? I doubt it, but she does a very good job of hiding it. People feel free to say what they need to…but it doesn’t mean other people can’t question them about it…one man didn’t know what toppings to put on a jacket potato last week, so we all gave him ideas and had a little giggle – just as he did! We support each other on the group FB page, and last week I was complimented by a number of people on my supportiveness…so stick that in your fecking shop bought soup and choke on it! 😉
Finally, making comments on my Facebook page defending the fact people cannot cook at the age of 30 does not make you look tolerant, nicer than me, clever, sympathetic, accepting of other points of view etc. In fact it just goes some way as to emphasise why this country is in the mess that it is. If you want someone to pat you on the head and tell you that it’s fine not to know how to cook, perhaps go back to nursery or school – where it is acceptable to not to know how to do ‘adult’ things. If you are old enough to drink, to have sex, to drive, to vote, to smoke, then you are sure as hell old enough to pick up a cook book and learn how to make a nutritious meal.
How the hell do you expect to provide for you or your family without such basic skills? And I’m not talking just about soup here – you might not like the stuff, in which case it’s perfectly acceptable not to cook it – I am talking about the basics…someone even mentioned having a friend who didn’t know how to boil pasta! No bloody wonder that horsemeat makes it into our food chain when we can’t even cook the basics…people probably don’t even know what a fecking horse or a cow looks like…they just eat it in processed shite! I don’t think people defending this behaviour and seeing the other point of view is helpful, especially when the other point of view is absolutely pathetic! They don’t know how to cook…just as I didn’t know how to…so pick up a book, watch a TV programme, go online and watch step by step YouTube videos, enroll on a college course, ask your friend to show you how to make their nicest recipe – take responsibility!
Sympathy for the other point of view is not needed here, action is needed; don’t defend this behaviour, offer constructive criticism and help them…which is what I am doing and have been trying to do all along. And as for not having the confidence? Rubbish – if you have the confidence to go out drinking all night, to bring up children, to hold down a job, to deal with household bills and chores, to speak with doctors about medical issues, to walk into a Slimming World class – you’ve got more than enough confidence to try and learn to cook a few basic dishes.
I started this blog, and the FB page to document my journey – and I will continue to do so, just as I will continue to express my shock at certain things that happen along the way! Whilst I do this I will remember that you can’t get your point across at times with 140 characters on Twitter, or on a Facebook post. I will also remember that most people agreed with me, and I will try not to so desperately want to please everyone – not everyone will agree with me, but I do like to be liked…so I need to get over my childishness and perhaps I need to go back to nursery too…it was so much simpler back in those days!
Also, I remain anonymous for reasons other than not wanting people who know the ‘real me’ to know my weight and how bad I let myself get. I do it so that I can discuss the challenges I’ve faced – such as my horrid ex-boss who was bullying me whilst she was shagging the CEO amongst other people on company time, leaving me with her work to do – without being sued! It also helps that nobody from my Slimming World group is on here, or knows about my ‘Weight Loss Bitch’ moniker (although a couple do now but are fully supportive!) so I am able to talk freely…not ripping people to pieces, but just highlighting some of the crazy reasons that I think contribute towards the highly publicised obesity crisis. I just want people to be successful and in order to change yourself, you need to change…perhaps learning to cook would be a good starting point?!
So my conclusions are:
#1 You can’t please everyone.
#2 You can’t help people that don’t want to be helped.
#3 Some people will remain lazy, expect to be spoon-fed, anticipate miracles, but stay fat!
#4 Adding the words ‘just saying’ after a comment does not make what you’ve said valid, more mature, relevant, correct, or well thought out – grow up!
#5 I will do what I am doing, and if people don’t like it, they can feck off!
Oh, and I also lost a blog reader as I made a controversial comment about Oscar Pistorius…jeez…how will I ever cope?! I will cope because I am changing my life and know that in order to do this, the things I was doing need to change…and I will cope because some people are just arseholes lacking a sense of humour…’just saying’! 😉
That’s it then, that was my rant back in the early days.
And do you know what, I have changed since then…my views have developed and I have learnt to be more tolerant I guess. I haven’t changed my mind about the fact that not being able to rustle up a soup by the time you’re in your mid-30s is a fecking shocker. So instead of replying and trying to convince me that I am wrong, maybe try and find someone who can’t cook a soup and help them instead…it’ll be easier to do that than it will be to get me to change my view about this! 😉
Right then…today has been good. I planned for the next few days and then headed to the gym for my training session. It was a great workout – I felt amazing afterwards. Interval work is quite tough but great fun too! Mr WLB then swapped his training for a sports massage as he’s been having a few niggles recently. So we quickly popped to see the horses, went to the shops, and grabbed lunch, before heading over to our trainers place. I would love to live where he does…views of horses from his window! Anyway, what an experience that was…I tried to read a book but had forgotten my glasses…so I relaxed and watched the grimaces on Mr WLBs face…it was hilarious! Anyone who has had a sports massage appreciates how deep they are – a little painful until the knotty bits have been worked out. It was quite entertaining! I then went to see my sister and the children…who were on top form today. Apparently my nephew had been a bit of a bugger, and my niece had thrown a major tantrum earlier in the day. I have volunteered to have them overnight soon so my sister and her hubby can head off for an anniversary night away. To be honest, the kids are always pretty good for me…I think a break does everyone good every now and again, and now that I can do more with them, it’s quite good fun really.
That’s it from me then…it’s weird not taking my food pictures or writing about what I have been eating – it won’t be long though before it’s all back! 🙂
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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