“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I guess this kind of sums up my current status! 😉
Onwards and upwards – or rather downwards – though. It’s been a shitty week. There will be more of them to overcome. It was great to get it off my chest yesterday, and the positive response from you was overwhelming – so thank you for your support! 🙂
The one problem about writing a blog – so honestly – is that it leaves you open to scrutiny, suggestions, unsolicited advice, offers of help, invites to review products etc etc. This means that your brain get flooded with messages that dilute your thoughts…or that’s how it feels to me. My sensible non-nonsense approach was clouded for a while. What I know works for me was pushed to one side briefly in my desire for a weight loss.
I am not going to be too tough on myself though. I have been on track for 945 days and off track for approximately 5 days…which means that for 0.53% of my weight loss journey I have deviated away from my plan of action…it’s hardy worth losing any fecking sleep over, is it?! 😉
One thing that I have to point out is that my recent lack of photos was not linked to my ‘off the wagon’ moments…that was linked to being pissed off with an overload of advice and was my way of trying to stem this flow of advice. Also, my experiment day with food a week or so ago was not linked with this ‘off the wagon’ moment either…that was an enjoyable experiment in which I realised that I could have control of food and emotions. This brief spell of madness has been about punishment and being too critical on myself…I will probably talk more about this soon. I just don’t want people getting all ‘online psychologist’ with me and assuming that these things are linked! 🙂
So I am more than ready to grab September by the balls and see how I get on. I am going to stick with what helped me shift over 21st. I am going to stick with my rational mind and try to keep my irrational and thoughts busy doing something else!
On that note, I have been neglecting something that really works. Never did I think that I would be the sort of person who meditates – I had visions of people sitting all cross-legged like pretzels, with scraggy hair, tie-dye clothing, and dirty bare feet, sitting on meditation cushions, rocking and chanting. I have to say that my recent retreat was useful for both backing up and breaking down those stereotypical views of mine! 😉
Anyway, meditation. It works. I know it works…just as I know Slimming World works…so that’s what I am going to get back to.
I thought I would share a little passage from the HeadSpace website. This is my meditation medium of choice. They have a great free 10 x 10 minute free guided meditation taster that I highly recommend. I am going to grab me some HeadSpace this week…have a read of the following and see what you think…
“How often do you think about it? About food, that is. Seriously, on any given day, how many times do you think about food or the effect food has on your body? Not just what you want to eat, but also what you ate in the past or what you plan to eat in the future? Be sure to include the number of times you wish you hadn’t eaten something in the past, and also what you’re planning not to eat in the future. Now add that every thought you ever have about your body image and the way you look. That includes every thought expressing contentment with how you look, as well as every thought in which you wished you looked different. Hard to measure, I know, but how many thoughts a day do you think that is?
Research figures vary on this question, reporting that the number of thoughts that people have about food alone can be anything up to 200 a day. However, I suspect that figure may well be substantially higher, especially when thoughts about body image are thrown into the mix. For many, food is the first thing they think of in the morning and their body image is the last thing they think of at night. These thoughts stand like bookends at either end of the day, sandwiching feelings of craving and resistance, appreciation and discomfort, satisfaction and guilt. In fact, it’s hard to imagine another topic that consumes more of our valuable headspace. Now that’s not to say that there’s anything inherently wrong with daydreaming about chocolate fudge cake, in fact it’s quite normal. It’s just that if the wandering mind is left unchecked, it can lead us down a path that we’ll probably later regret. Oh, and just in case you’re wondering about any other potential contender for this top spot, apparently women report thinking about food at least twice as many times as they think about having sex. And whilst for men that figure is lower, food still just tops the stakes in the overall thought-count.
Over the years there’s been a huge amount of public education on what foods we should eat and what we shouldn’t, which foods are healthy and which foods are unhealthy. This is a good thing. This is information that everyone should possess. Admittedly, this information is often a little conflicting, and a ‘superfood’ hailed one week for its cancer-preventing, fertility-enhancing, fat-metabolising properties will almost inevitably, later be dismissed for its cancer-inducing sterility promoting, obesity-causing qualities. But on the whole, most of us now know what we need to eat to be healthy, right? We know the rules, we know what foods promote good health and we know what foods, when consumed in excessive quantities, tend to lead towards weight-gain, obesity, hypertension and heart disease.
And yet nothing changes. The number of people who are overweight continues to rise, the number of people who are obese continues to rise, as do the number of people suffering from heart disease, diabetes, eating disorders, allergies, intolerances and everything in-between. So why is this happening and what can we do about it? The starting point is to recognise that in this situation when we have freedom of choice (and there are many sections of society where this is not always the case), the food itself is not the root cause of obesity, or of being overweight. Sure, it plays an important part, but the decision of what to consume stems from our own mind. Whilst it may well be influenced by many contributing factors, the decision to choose ‘this’ food over ‘that’ comes from a thought, a feeling and the willingness to engage and follow that thought or feeling.
Now this isn’t an excuse to beat yourself up for the way you eat or the way you look. The mind is a powerful thing and, untrained, is a slave to both emotion and habit, which can feel so overwhelming. Remember, this isn’t about blaming yourself (or anyone else). This is about trying to understand the root of the problem, so that you can create the conditions for positive change in the future. Food is simply the object of fascination and distraction; it is not the cause of it. It has no real power in and of itself; it just sits there, waiting to be eaten (or not eaten). The decision whether to eat is ultimately yours alone. And this is important, because if the decision is yours, then you have freedom, you have the potential for change, the potential to be happy with who you are and how you look, at a weight that is comfortable, natural and right for you.
The processes at play in the mind are surprisingly straightforward, it’s just that usually everything is happening so fast that there’s not really time to take it all in. The physical action of reaching out for food and putting it in your mouth does not happen by accident. For a hand to reach out and pick up that next slice of pizza, tub of ice cream or glass of wine, it requires a signal from the brain. This signal might have been prompted by any number of thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations, and in many ways it doesn’t really matter which of those it was. The important thing is that we create enough headspace and clarity to ensure that we don’t necessarily follow that impulse. But, again, why does it happen in the first place? Why do we do what we so desperately don’t want to do? And why do we so often feel powerless to resist the urge of a fleeting emotion?”
Want more tips on how to make meditation a part of your day? Sign up for free to the Take10 programme to get the basics just right with guided meditation and support, anytime, anywhere on the Headspace app.
Right then, that little bit above was written by them! It rang true with me and so I thought I would share something with you that works for me. Sign up if you fancy…it makes no difference to me but it might make a difference to you! 😉
Today has been fun. I went to see the horses and took them my juicing veggies…they enjoyed red cabbage, carrots, pears, apples, and white cabbage. They were enjoying the sunshine, so I left them to it and headed out for lunch with Mr WLB. It was a delicious carvery meal which left us both stuffed. Then we headed off to watch some cross country and show jumping…but then I got side-tracked by something even more delicious than a carvery…polo players! 🙂 Haha! One of them had once touched my leg when I was a young impressionable teenager. There was nothing untoward there, he was helping me adjust my stirrup leathers…I was so excited though that I almost fell off the horse I was riding – which only happened to be a prized polo pony of his…I was a lucky girl being assisted by him and getting to ride his ponies…not everyone got that treatment! 🙂 So I sat and managed not to drool too much over his wonderful handling of his polo pony. Goodness me, anymore of this talk and I will descend into writing about leather and restraints and get all 40 shades of beige on you! Mr WLB should have been happy though, as some posh lady kept bending over to adjust the picnic rug next to us…but kept showing us her rug instead. Seriously – her knickers were a regular feature until I, rather coarsely – and much to the embarrassment of Mr WLB, started talking about her pants rather loudly. She soon packed up her wicker picnic hamper and real wool rug and moved towards the upper-crust set…I did wonder if they were more accommodating of her and her knickers…if you’ve ever read Jilly Cooper’s ‘Polo’ then you and I can well imagine that they were! 😉 We then came home and I went and checked on my sisters puppy as they were out for the day at the zoo and couldn’t take the dog. Then it was time to get all of my WLB stuff ready for the week, and to prepare for my new contract on Thursday. And of course I am going to try and relax and watch some TV later.
Thank you for reading and for your continued support!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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