I wrote about the challenge that Herbie and I are facing a couple of days ago…
…we have 21 weeks to go until our big night ride. I haven’t ridden at night before…and road riding isn’t my forte either – I have ridden on the road once so far!
Anyway. I have a little plan of action in mind and today I managed to blitz week one…when I say ‘blitz’ I mean that I rode twice around the reservoir!
My main issue is that I am a person who likes pressure. I do not do long range planning very well…I do spur of the moment. I do not do things like revision…I do cramming. I do not write reports weeks in advance…I write them the day before they are due!
But I know that I need to train for this ride or else I will be bollocksed! I absolutely cannot rock up in Windsor in May and think that I’ll get around a 100km ride without some sort of training. Well…I possibly could…but I actually want to enjoy myself and take in the sights of London at night.
So my first ten miles was completed with 21 weeks to go…now 20. I can’t get that ’21 Seconds’ song by So Solid Crew out of my head when I write that…
Anyway, I woke up this morning and saw that the world was white. The frost was so flipping thick and I snuggled back under the duvet telling myself that a turbo training session would have to do. It was quite nice actually as I had stayed up until the early hours watching a film and was very tired! Then my sister sent me a text asking if I was heading over to the reservoir as she was taking my niece and nephew. I called her. I told her that I would go for a walk but that I wasn’t taking Herbie as it was too icy.
Then the guilt crept in. ‘Get out of bed lazy!’ ‘It’s only a bit of ice!’ ‘You told people that you would ride 10 miles today…what are they going to think?!’ ‘Go on…do it!’
So I text her to say that I was taking the bike and that I was heading over there early to get my laps in before having fun with the children.
I am not a quitter.
The first problem was that the doors on Freddie Freelander had iced shut. So I had to prise them open. Then I had to de-ice the car…and get the bike rack sorted…and load Herbie.
Then I had to get some cash as I knew I would want a hot drink.
Mr WLB and my old dog came with me, but he didn’t take his bike as he is like Bradley Wiggins – I call him a ‘bike wanker’ as he has all the gear and tracks his rides on his Garmin and Strava and likes to use a camera to film his rides. I am just thankful if I get around a circuit without getting a chapped and chafed lady garden…although I too am becoming a ‘bike wanker’ with my dedicated Fat Lass clothing!
I am a bit of a wobbly cyclist – and I am not just referring to my arse – I struggle to ride in a straight line, so too many objects and targets to hit freak me out. But feck it – I have just found out that I will be cycling with at least 2000 women in May…so I need to get over the freaking.
Mr WLB took the dog for a walk. I set off on lap one.
It was cold. Very cold. My sweat on my brow was turning to ice. My snot froze. It was better than being hot and sweaty I suppose. Until the point at which I couldn’t feel my feet. By this point in time I has halfway around, so there was no shortcut back to the car. I carried on pedalling, muttering things like ‘I fucking hate bikes’ under my breath…but not quite so under my breath as I thought when one walker let out a deep chuckle as I struggled past him on a hill!
I also get frustrated when proper bike people fly past me…especially on hills. To be fair, some walkers overtook me on a hill too…it’s hard work pushing 22st up a hill on a bike…but good fun flying down the other side! I did overtake one keen cyclist though…he was about three years old and on a trike but it still counts right?!
As I rounded the final bend and hit the brow of the hill I was struggling up, I saw Mr WLB. He decided to take photos of me…so I rode straight past him without stopping…and then felt guilty for being ignorant and so found a kerb to pull up alongside as my feet don’t touch the floor when I am on the bike. And before some bright spark suggests just hopping off the saddle and resting over the bike frame, with an arse as big as mine there is no such thing as ‘hopping’ and my pants get hooked on the saddle due to my bum overhang and I can never get back on without stabbing myself up the butthole with my saddle. So I will continue to use kerbs!
I spent the grand total of thirty seconds talking to him before setting off on lap two – as I don’t like ‘cheating’ and resting is cheating in my book…I wanted to do my ten miles without a rest!
Lap two was easier in a way. I guess my muscles were as warmed up as they could be on such a cold day…and I was in the zone. So much so that I rode past my sister and the gang at the end and didn’t notice them there…until my niece shouted at me.
That was week one of my challenge training complete. It wasn’t so bad. Apart from the fact that my lady area feels a bit swollen and kind of numb today. I guess almost 22st resting on something that looks like an instrument of torture is never going to end well. At least I have already shifted over 21.5st…being 43st 5.5lbs and getting on a bike was NEVER going to happen. There wasn’t much chafing either – so my knickerbockers, padded pants, and udder cream might just do the trick!
It was then off to grab a peppermint tea and to play in the park. I have to say that this was the best reward ever. I played on the swings and some weird kid playground things with my nephew – we had such a giggle…at one point I thought I was stuck on a ride in the nursery playground…and almost came flying off a roundabout that my sister and I were playing on – it was great fun!
I then had to go and clean out a rat infected tack room…the bastards had decided to nest in my rug box (which was supposed to be rat proof!) and have ruined about £400/£500′s worth of my horse rugs. They were also making ‘noises’…which meant that my Mum stayed outside manning the fire we had to have whilst I was poking around and laying down poison and trying to clean up. The problem is that we don’t use our stable yard in the winter as we keep the horses down in the village in a huge field rather than cooped up in stables – so it’s quiet and an ideal place for rats to nest. I never thought I would be wishing the snakes to come back, but at least they keep the rats away in the summer – I can’t wait for the warmer weather so the snakes wake up and eat the buggers again!
Eventually I made it home. I was so pink and cold – and smelly after cleaning up rat crap – that I stripped off, put my clothes on to wash, and grabbed the hottest shower ever.
Then Mr WLBs brother arrived for the night and we were talking and I forgot to post my blog – apologies!
I also have to admit to really struggling with my food for the past few days. I don’t seem to have any energy left…I used it all up to get through Christmas and New Year – resisting all of the festive food. So I haven’t been treating myself very well…skipping meals, grabbing quick fix options…I am not looking forward to going to weigh-in tomorrow because I know that when I don’t eat regularly, it really buggers me up. But it is what it is. Shifting weight and living a healthy lifestyle takes time and fecking effort…it was easy we wouldn’t have the problems we have really!
Anyway, I will love you and leave you for now – thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
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