Something I posted on my Facebook page yesterday created a little mini discussion and got me thinking!
It was one of those ‘motivational’ posters that you often see. Now I tend to try and steer clear of spreading messages with pictures of very slender women in skimpy clothing – unless it particularly motivated me…they tend to piss me off! – but I do like some of these posters. They can pick you up or make you stop and think twice – or they have done for me – and I know that they have for others, as I have had many messages about them striking a chord with people.
So this was the one I posted yesterday…
Now I am not going to get into the fat-shaming debate here – my views are that we need to be honest with ourselves, but that shame never really achieved anything. I often think that people like to think that they are honest but actually are just shaming people. I think there is a fine line between the two things, and that your own personal experiences with weight and your emotional toughness can have an impact upon whether you define something as shaming or honesty – in some cases though, it’s fecking obvious that it’s shaming!
What I liked about this particular poster was that it was honest – brutally so. I know that I was well aware of my issues and yet still never made the change. A ‘kick up the arse’ is something that I think this poster gives. Personally, I don’t see an issue with a kick – I like directness. I also get many messages from people describing how hard it is to change – I KNOW it’s hard…nothing comes easy. It’s bloody hard work to change! I think the reminder is needed every now and again…I have a ‘poor-me’ thing going on sometimes and I like to snap myself out of it.
If I liken this to the ‘chimp’ thing that I have been talking about recently – there are times when we need a carrot and times when we need a stick. The key to knowing which is needed depends upon your emotional state at that moment in time. Compassion is something that I am very much bought into too…and the key element of compassion is being kind to yourself whilst taking action to make the changes needed or wanted. So I personally felt that this message delivered a tough dose of compassion!
Back to the chimp thing though – there are times when we have to be tough on ourselves. I often say or do things and realise that I am being a prize plonker. These are the days that my chimp is in control – the irrational side of my brain – and I generally act like a tit. ‘Why is life so hard…why me…nobody else suffers like this…everything conspires against me…I’ll just eat this tub of ice-cream to make myself feel better…oh why does this food taste so good, why can’t salad be ‘bad’ for me – I’d like it more if was bad for me…it’s not fair…I can’t be bothered…what’s the point…I’ll never have the body I want anyway…we’re all going to die at some point so it doesn’t really matter’.
On days like this I often give myself a metaphorical slap. A kick up the arse.
Then there are times when I am genuinely tired and feel exhausted. Days and weeks when I have worked my arse off and don’t get the results I want. Days when I feel poorly and run-down. Days when I have relationship woes, or money worries, or the boiler has broken.
On days like this I think I need to be nicer to myself. And reading a message like the one above might not be that helpful on those days. A message like that might lead to ‘stick’ behaviour and thoughts and emotions…guilt, blame, regret, etc. On days like this I need ‘carrot’ behaviour and thoughts and emotions…encouragement, support, recognition, etc.
The thing is, when you – or I – have a little Facebook page and try and post things that help people you can’t get it right all of the time. That’s why I love the one on one coaching…as it’s tailored. When you are posting something, you always get people who agree and you always get people who don’t agree. That’s life. I do it with the best of intentions though.
Unless it’s to do with Katie Hopkins – or Cunty Hopkins as I have christened her. When it comes to this lady there is no mercy. Yes she speaks her mind. But she does so in order to get paid. I cannot and will not believe that someone can be so foul. Although I did get another one of those messages telling me how ugly and vile and evil and disgusting I was for using the word ‘cunt’ when describing her…seriously?! Spend your time signing petitions to get Katie off your TV…not sending me messages about my language…I am about as likely to stop using the word cunt as Katie Hopkins is to stop being an evil wench!
However I do draw the line at criticising the way Katie Hopkins looks. I think her personality and attitude is ugly – I couldn’t care less what she looks like and wouldn’t ever comment on her looks – that’s not what I am about and I don’t like people who do that kind of thing. I think she had a cuntish personality…that’s it!
Gosh – where did the Katie thing come from?! Oh yes – getting things right on social media. I am not perfect – far from it. I post stuff that some people like and some people don’t. Brussels sprouts normally cause a bit of debate…as does my love of oysters. Some of the stuff that might motivate one group wouldn’t motivate another and visa versa. I tend to post things that meant something to me at the point in time in which I saw it.
This particular poster was read by me when I was in ‘poor-me’ mode. I am still in it if I am being honest. I am struggling. I will always struggle. But I am not bloody giving up…far from it. So I will continue to find posters and messages that spur me on and I hope that they might help you too.
Carrots and sticks.
Work out what you need.
Carrots tend to work much better…my horses follow me around when I have carrots – not sure they’d do the same if I carried sticks in my pockets!
Carrots and a kick up the bum – that’s my personal recipe for success!
That’s it for me. I had a lovely meal out with my Mum and Mr WLB last night – delicious food. I have had a nice day in the sun with the horses, done some shopping, had a facemask, read a book, and am about to try Joes Sausages for the first time for my dinner.
Thank you for reading – have a wonderful week!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx