I know that I have been a shit blogger recently – I just had quite a lot of stuff spinning around in my head and needed to be a bit self-interested…or selfish if you prefer to call it that!
I spend quite a lot of time supporting some lovely people with their challenges and I thought that it was time to take a dose of the medicine I prescribe! 🙂
So I took a bit of time to regroup and to get back to practising what I know works for me.
There was also the little issue of my job. I now have a new one!
The company I work for is fab. The job is fab. The people are fab. But sometimes fab things just don’t feel right. Like when you have a lovely boyfriend or girlfriend but no longer want to jump their bones. Or when you eat a superfood salad…but would rather be eating a BigMac!
So I found a new job.
I am going to be heading resourcing for a large company. It’s a good use of my skills and experience. Whereas the job I took wasn’t really very stretching. I guess I felt a bit under-utilised…and that’s okay every now and again. It’s also kind of what I wanted. I didn’t want a job with the stresses and pressures that I used to have. But I found myself stressing just as much as I used to do…but without the scope that I used to have. Anyway – I don’t want to complain about it…I am lucky to have a job at all – when I was at my biggest I doubt anyone would have given me a job, so I truly appreciate how far I have come. I am staying long enough to help them find my replacement and am working for my new company at the same time…so it’s quite an interesting time.
I have to say that my binge-eating habits returned with a vengeance. I am putting it down to boredom, tiredness, a bit of stress, and the fact that I took my eye off the ball. I stopped doing the things that helped me stay on track – like blogging and meditating and spending time with the horses and my family. As a consequence of this, I have gained 5st of the 21.5st that I had lost. So all of the good work hasn’t been undone…but I am pretty pissed off with myself.
I need to accept that I am going to have to keep my eye on the ball for the rest of my life. There is no such thing as ‘normal’…I keep chasing this elusive ‘normal’…but I have to realise that my own personal normal means taking quite firm control of my eating. And that’s fine as I’d rather do that and feel healthy and strong…and be able to fit into nice clothes – there is a bit of vain in me somewhere.
So bear with me whilst I get my shit together. I have a lot of work to do – both in terms of weight loss and in terms of ‘head stuff’ – to get back to where I was. You might find that my blog posts get a bit sweary and emotional…but if it helps me to keep my fingers out of the fecking fridge, then so be it!
I am not going to promise to blog everyday as I am really struggling for time at the moment – I get up at 5.45 to train before work, and get home at 7pm – but I am not going to fecking moan…there are plenty of people with more shit on their plates than me. Although I bet I can out shit them in terms of my food choices recently! 😉
Thank you so much for your continued support…I am off to read a book that isn’t health / weight / coaching related…a good crime thriller!
Love WLB xxx