…but most definitely not of the tinned variety!
My poor old blog is feeling very neglected at the moment. As you know, I haven’t been around for a while and so when I logged onto my blog admin pages – yes, you have to do ‘admin’ when you are a blogger and it’s a pain in the arse as it isn’t a strong point of mine – I was horrified to see that I had 229,772 comments awaiting moderation.
I was horrified for a couple of reasons. First up was the fact that I knew there would be some genuine comments in amongst that lot. How the hell was I going to find them? I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t appreciate their support, and ignoring a well intended comment is a surefire way of giving out the wrong vibes! Second was the type of spam comments a blogger gets – lots of offerings of drugs, sex, and not so much rock’n’roll.
It is crazy!
I used to just let comments appear on the blog automatically – but I am not hugely tech savvy and when spam comments kept appearing it became a bit of a nightmare to manage, so I changed the settings to mean that I now have to ‘approve’ comments. And I approve both the good and bad if they are genuine although I have been accused of only posting the good comments. I do wonder why people would waste time accusing someone of that though – if you think about it, why should anyone have a bad comment when all I am doing is posting about how I am making improvements to my health and showing the ups and downs along the way? I guess there are some weird ones out there. The kind of person that asks me ‘How could you let yourself get like that?’ and delivers the comment in a way that isn’t a genuine and interested enquiry as to the things that led to me reaching 43.5st – which I am happy to discuss with people. This is the kind of person who would get on well with Katie Hopkins – that type of ‘How could you let yourself get like that?’ – you know the ones…people that think I fecking planned it with my careers advisor in secondary school along with choosing my GCSE options!
Anyway, I digress – I do that a lot!
Back to the spam – the number of offerings of Asian beauties astounded me – I am worried that there may not be enough Asian beauties to go round given how many other people they must be offering them too. Had they been offering me Asian food I might have taken them up on it! Seriously though, I can’t believe that people get away with this kind of thing!
Then I have a ‘fan’ – and I use that word with a big pinch of sarcasm as I don’t have an over-inflated view of myself – called ‘Cocksucker’. Now I seriously doubt that I need to describe the kind of offering that Cocksucker has in mind for me. Again, I would prefer an offer of food – and no, his much promoted pork-sword isn’t what I have in mind!
The one that has me chuckling the most are the ‘Extreme Cleanse’ spammers – which conjures up images of being sprawled naked on a concrete floor with someone blasting you with a jet of water from a fire hose and trying to insert a sweeping brush up your back passage for a colon cleanse! Or at least this is how a ‘cleanse’ actually feels. I know. I have tried many a herbal cleanse before which left me feeling like the world had fallen out of my bottom rather than the bottom falling out of my world! I will only say this – you have internal organs such as a liver, and kidneys, and a colon – these are the only items that you need to support a ‘cleanse’ or a ‘detox’ – just cut out the processed shite (as I am doing now…and fighting every bloody day not to give in to it!) and stay hydrated with water and you will be miraculously cleansed. I promise…and so do all of the qualified dieticians out there – it’s just the quacks that disagree!
And then there’s ‘Bob’ – Bob keeps trying to give me advice as to how I can become a womaniser and wants to teach me how to drive the women crazy…so if you are female and we ever chat, you had better watch out. I am not quite sure if Mr WLB will appreciate my womanising ways though. And if when we meet I am wearing ‘George’ Armani sunglasses, have a fake Michael Kors handbag, and a ‘Ralex’ watch on…well, you’ll know that I have been taken in by the spammers!
So I suppose the moral of the story is that I need to keep on top of my administration so that I can approve the good comments and ditch the spam. Much like I need to keep on top of the things that make a healthy life. It’s not good enough to bury my head in the sand and ignore the comments building up as they get out of control. Which is just what happens with my weight. I ignore the little 0.5lbs going on here and there, and ignore that fact that the shirt that was once loose is getting snug, and I ignore the fact that the steering wheel is getting closer to my stomach – or rather that my stomach is growing and closing the steering wheel gap – and I ignore the fact that it is getting harder to run up and down the stairs – hold on, let’s not overdo it, I will just clarify that I wasn’t ever at the point of running up the stairs but that it felt less like an Everest expedition to get to the top of them! – and before I know it I have walloped a load of weight back on again.
Such is life – there’s no point fecking whinging about it – I just have to crack on. If I keep doing what made me bloody fat in the first place, then I will continue getting fatter. If I go back to doing what helped me start shifting the weight, then I will start shifting the weight. So it is back to basics for me. In the spirit of last nights blog post about getting selfish, I am going to make it all about me – if my friends want to go out for lunch then I will pick the venue so that I can ensure I can eat on ‘plan’, I am going to build in time to go to the gym and not let other commitments get in the way, I will make sure that I have productive days at work so that I am not playing catch-up in the evenings which eats into my chill out time.
2015 has genuinely been great so far. Yes, my weight has crept back up but to be honest there have been so many good things going on that it’s not had the devastating effect on me that it once would have done. I have secured a job that I love with people that I enjoy working with. I have my health (other than being fat of course before you point out the obvious!). I have an amazing family and friends. I have four beautiful horses and a wonderful old dog. I have spent a few weeks in the most heavenly part of the Scottish Highlands. I can’t fecking complain.
My remaining goal for 2015 is to smash this mindset stuff. I want to get back into the zone that I was in. No weight-related goals. This is a ‘feeling’ and I will know when I have done it. So watch this space!
Finally, before I move on to the usuals, I want to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to comment on a blog post of mine from the bottom of my heart. I try and respond to every comment but inevitably I will miss one or two. I want to reassure you that this isn’t personal – it’s purely to do with my shite administration skills (ask my boss…she will confirm that trait!) – and I absolutely appreciate the support – it means a huge amount to me, so THANK YOU!
Right then, the usuals. It has been a busy day. I have a weird spider-bitten finger that is giving me some grief and I have been hibernating at home today after a conversation with my boss this morning about working from home. It has been really productive actually – sometimes I impress myself! (my boss can also confirm that modesty isn’t a strong point – haha!)
I rustled up some tasty Slimming World grub today – which is somehow much easier on work from home days as there is a lot more you can do. I had a delicious breakfast of smoked salmon slices and scrambled eggs on top of wilted spinach with baby plum tomatoes. That kept me full for ages – I always find a good protein breakfast does that – I can’t find anything better than eggs for breakfast. Then I made a lovely tomato salad for lunch which was so good. The tomatoes came from a little organic veg ‘shed’ near me and they were the best I have ever tasted – so much flavour. Years ago I saw Jamie Oliver make a sliced tomato salad with different tomatoes and have always wanted to have a go – minus the half bottle of olive oil he drowned it in! So when I saw purple and orange and green stripy and yellow tomatoes I couldn’t resist buying some. I sliced them up and added a mixed leaf salad and used some olives I had in the fridge – which I synned – with blueberries (sounds weird, tasted amazing!) and chopped red onion, and a bit of garlic and chilli. It was lush! Dinner was a cottage pie with green beans, sprouts, and tender stem broccoli. And I reckon my evening snacks will be fruit based – I have some plums and strawberries from the organic shed that I want to try.
And that’s it from me today.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx