Apparently, I have a weird split personality. Mr WLB calls me ‘Green Cat’ or ‘Blue Cat’ depending upon what kind of mood I am in. He used to watch a cartoon, or had read some book, with a cat in and if the cat was being nice or good then it’s eye were blue, when it was being a bitch it’s eyes were green. I’ve never heard of it.
I wonder if this links to my all or nothing approach in life?
He says it’s like living with different people. And sometimes the same things can either be good or bad dependant upon my mood. So one day he can do something and I laugh, and then the next day I would flip out. It’s mood dependent and task dependent. Poor him!
*You gents are probably just thinking, ‘That’s all fucking women, love!’ 😉
Take today for example. I was happily minding my own business this afternoon, sat waiting for Mr WLB to get back to the car, when this happened:
It made me laugh so much. The fucking irony of it was that I was on my way to an organic fruit and veggie shop. And whilst Mr WLB was buying a wedge of cake, he was collecting a salad for me!
I couldn’t stop giggling about how the chap literally ran down the road like a naughty child. He clearly didn’t see that the sunroof was open – what a fucking jockstrap! So I swore at him – not big, not clever, but ever so satisfying! – and then I laughed.
Yet there are times when this shit gets to me. I am not a particularly sensitive soul when it comes to the things people say. Especially if I am in a position to fight back and stick up for myself. But sometimes, if I have had a bad day, or if it’s really uncalled for, then I might get a little sensitive.
I remember one chap calling me a ‘fat cunt’ when he’d cut me up on a traffic island – so I pulled my car alongside his, wound the window down, and screamed at him to ‘get some fucking glasses because if you can’t see the white lines – which clearly denote the fucking lane markings – then you are in serious shit my friend!’ – and that was quite satisfying too. And then I cried.
The thing is, deep down – they are right. I am fucking fat. It’s clear to see. So I try and use these moments to fuel my desire to change…turn it into motivation. It doesn’t make it any nicer though – but it did used to make me punch harder when I boxed!
Anyway, I digress – I do that a lot…
Green Cat vs Blue Cat.
Music he says shows my split personality. Mr WLB and I share a love of clubbing – proper clubbing – Godskitchen, Gatecrasher, Slinky, Cream – we have been around…before we met mostly. I knew a DJ and got meeting others – very crazy times…lots of tequila-fuelled parties – and so my love for this music runs deep and evokes lots of fun memories.
Yet I quite like more mellow stuff too. So today the tunes in the car went instantly from Double 99 RipGroove and my ‘Back to Bass’ album to ‘These Streets’ and my old Paulo Nutini album. Eclectic I think they call it.
He says that there are lovely sides to me – my Blue Cat charitable nature, the way I get up extra early to drive him to cycling events (he doesn’t drive), and the way I behave with my niece and nephew – endless patience.
Yet my Green Cat – plate smashing, throwing major food tantrums, putting his prized football programmes in a sink full of washing up water (they cost me a fecking fortune to replace!), throwing a PSP in the sink…I can be a major bitch. Although those episodes were a long time ago…I think the pain of seeing his CCFC programmes wither away in Fairy Liquid still stings.
I have a work Blue Cat and Green Cat too. Endless patience for people who genuinely need help and support, and arse kicking for those who are just being lazy. I am about to go into arse kicking mode after the bank holiday with a couple of people in the team – three fucking times I have requested information integral to ones of my projects – that’s not good enough. My boss laughs at my approach – and likes that I have a balance of coaching and arse kicking. She finds it hilarious that I get pissed off if people don’t respond to emails in a timely manner…I suppose their version of ‘timely’ and mine might be different!
Oooh, in fact this week a complaint was made about me by a supplier. He emailed it in, not expecting me to see it. Over 80% of what he said was an outright lie. I was an arse on the phone with him – as he wasn’t listening and kept talking over me, and had caught me right in the middle of a fraught project – however the rest was utter bullshit. He clearly doesn’t know how honest I am – my boss on the other hand does, and had my back and told him that he needed to speak to me to smooth things over and deal with me regardless as I am the one responsible for this work. He then just turned up at the site expecting me to see him. I wasn’t there – but if I had been I would have given him a real fecking talking too! Green Cat. That kind of behaviour and attitude…expecting me just to be sitting around filing my fucking nails and being able to drop everything to see him without a prior meeting – after lying. Let’s just say that the impending supplier review process will be a challenge for him!
Yet my other suppliers are wonderful. I have a great relationship with them all – they are an extension of my department and I need them to have the integrity and ethics that I expect from my own team – and they do. I have really good working relationships with them, and see some of them outside of work too. They deliver the results I need, I don’t bullshit them, and I work hard to ensure that they get enough business.
Anyway, why am I talking about work…it’s the Bank Holiday!
Blue Cat and Green Cat.
It’s hard being someone with such opposing emotions at times. I am not one of these timid characters you come across, yet I do have a sensitive side. It’s even harder living with me I guess. Spare a thought for this poor man…
My big grey lad – who is a gentle giant – practically dragged me up the ramp to go and find the rest of his herd who had gone first. And my little Shetland will follow me anywhere if he thinks there is a chance of food…so he always loads well.
They are all safely munching in the field and I can’t wait to spend the next few days grooming them and getting them used to ‘work’ again. My Welsh lad is off to bootcamp soon so he needs tarting up so that he looks less raggedy hill pony than he does now. I have the dentist and farrier coming to see them this week too…not that it’s of any interest to you – I just have lots of time on my hands this bank holiday and so am writing away…
On that note, I am off!
Today’s food looked like this: