99.99% of you get it. 0.01% clearly don’t. And I guess I should focus on the 99.99% but being the sensitive little soul that I am, I hate to think that I have offended anyone…
Yeah…not really! I want to have a little conversation with the 0.01%.
I want to ask you to stop being a dick! 🙂
I want to ask you to please just take a second or two before you send me a message telling me how awful it is that I swear. How uncouth I am. How my education and upbringing must have been appalling. How my swearing detracts from my writing. How ugly and evil and disgusting I am for using swear words – this was my favourite message ever relating to swearing…it went on, and on, and on – I guess it must have been cathartic for the sender.
My education really isn’t that bad – I actually used the word ‘uncouth’ all on my own, without having to use a dictionary to look up the meaning…ooh, and ‘cathartic’! 😉
So let’s cover a few things off shall we, 0.01%ers.
My education really is none of your business. But just in case you are wondering, I actually did quite well at school. I passed all of my exams with very good grades. I then went out into the big wide world of work before heading to university whilst I was working full time. I completed a PgDip, and then a Masters, and numerous professional qualifications. I was then accepted into one of the country’s leading universities to study – and am working on my second Masters degree. I get ‘firsts’ in my studies…yes, the person who swears so awfully is actually quite the academic! 🙂
So my education is doing okay – but thank you for your concern. In fact, if you’re really concerned for my educational wellbeing then I quite fancy attempting a PhD – so if you feel that strongly about the way I portray myself, you are welcome to throw some dosh my way to help ensure that I get the education you wish for me.
My upbringing was pretty good too. No freaky uncles trying to touch me up. No sadistic aunts pinching and bruising me on the sly. My parents both worked hard to provide a good environment for me. They taught me right from wrong. In fact, I used to go to Sunday School and had a CofE education – does that shock you, 0.01%er?! That someone who went to Sunday School uses the word ‘cunt’ every now and again?
I had toys and I had books and I had jigsaw puzzles…I even had an Amiga 500 Plus with The Simpsons and Lemmings on that Mr WLB says means that I was a posh kid! To hammer the posh point home, I also had riding lessons from the age of 4 – I was a pony club kid. Although I did have to share a room with my sister – and that was traumatic at times – she used to have posters of boys on her wall that clashed with my pictures of ponies…so maybe the room-sharing is to blame for my awful proclivities. I will try and seek out some counselling to discuss this possibility.
As for my swearing detracting from my writing, I am not quite sure what to say about this. I might have to challenge you there, 0.01%er. You see I think the use of swearing in writing is like the use of herbs and spices in cooking – it’s there to highlight and bring out certain flavours. The odd ‘fuck’ and ‘bollocks’ is just like salt and pepper in my opinion, whereas ‘cunt’ is the chilli of the word cupboard!
When it comes to the ugly and evil and disgusting comments I really am at a loss. I think you might have just boiled over here 0.01%er. Was it a bad day, or a bad week? It’s okay – I don’t mind. I forgive you. I don’t mind that you felt so compelled to reach out to a complete stranger and unleash your venom. I forgive you for sending a message that would have sent a lesser person into the throes of self-doubt…and make them question what they are trying to do in sharing their challenging experiences with others who may be going through the same thing. I don’t mind that you wanted to explain how you felt about my language – the language that I use to describe the issues that I face in overcoming morbid obesity and binge-eating. I really don’t mind 0.01%er…as I am not a dick.
I have written often about the reasons behind my swearing. A few of you have met me, and know that I tend not to swear overtly. It really makes me smile that, amongst all of the angst and emotional stuff I share, the one thing that gets picked up on is the use of swear words.
Come on – I talk about eating disorders, PCOS, diabetes, endometrial hyperplasia and cancerous cells, my incredible binging, the struggles I have in shifting this weight, the bullying, the self-esteem issues…the list of shite I discuss is endless. The struggle also feels endless.
I have said before that I feel paedophilia, genocide, rape, terrorism, genital mutilation, homophobia, Donald fucking Trump – the list is long – is ‘vile’…the use of the word ‘cunt’ is not a big deal for me and I have no issues with language that may be considered as ‘vile’ depending upon the context. I think that there are far worse crimes out there than having a mouth that occasionally swears! And I tend not to swear at people…it’s a conversational thing – like adding chilli into your stew rather than throwing it all over the top of your stew! 😉
Needless to say, I will continue to swear. I don’t have an issue with it. I don’t do it all of the time…but the blog posts are emotive and that’s when my swearing gets switched on. If you don’t like it, then you don’t have to read the blog 0.01%er – or follow the Facebook page, or even read my Tweets – you can just scroll on by. Sending me a message regarding my swearing will not get the desired outcome of me never swearing again…in fact, it results in me reading your message, calling you a cunt and saying, ‘Oh do fuck off!’
I think they call it being authentic. 🙂
I swear during this blog as it’s mine…it’s my life – the stuff that happens each day, my emotions, and my words! I swear responsibly in person. You don’t have to agree with me or my words 0.01%er but I won’t be changing. There is nothing as satisfying as a good swear occasionally, especially now that I don’t have the emotional release of a massive food binge! Long may the swearing and blogging continue…it’s when I stop them both that you really have to worry about me!
On that note, I will end it there I think. I will say though that I read so much on the internet that I disagree with. Yet I have never felt compelled to send someone a message highlighting what I think is wrong with them. Live and let live. I may have my opinion about what people do online, but unless they are hurting me or my loved ones then I really couldn’t care…you get on with your shit, and I’ll get on with mine. So 0.01%ers – I love you, I forgive you, and long may your passion for pointing out other peoples’ problems reign – one day, you might take a look closer at home.
To the 99.99%ers – I love you dudes more! 😉
Easter Sunday then. That hour bolloxed me a little. I woke up at 8am after a midnight bedtime wondering what on earth had happened – I got up and then figured out that it was the equivalent of 7am! I like 8 hours of sleep or else I am a real bitch.
I headed up to see the horses and arrived to find my Welsh lad watching his herd whilst they were all crashed out in the field. They all came in for some breakfast – whilst Mr WLB hid in the car as the horses freak him out…he can’t understand how I can calmly handle 750kg of muscle and power who wants to go in the opposite direction to me! 🙂 I then got to grooming them and it was fab. When they are on their winter field it gets difficult to give them any TLC as the land owner spies on me with his CCTV and doesn’t like hoof prints on his land despite renting it out for equestrian grazing…he’s a proper 0.01%er! So we had horsey cuddles and I got snorted on and rubbed on and basically looked all bedraggled and smelt of the horses…my perfect day! Here are the two men in my life – my Welshie, the brown one, and my Spanish Norman:
I had kind of forgotten that I was due at my Dads for lunch though and ended up having to have a wash in freezing cold stable water to clean up before heading over there!
Lunch was lovely – a Capon – which my Dad told me was, “A rooster without bollocks’…thanks Dad. It had come with a little letter describing its upbringing – where it was reared, what it was fed etc…it almost made me feel guilty about eating it. But I guess that’s traceable eating, isn’t it – taking responsibility for where your food comes from. It was really tasty!
This evening I am just chilling out. I have a hectic few weeks ahead with work and am leading a major resourcing change programme – so there will be lots of early mornings and late nights and not much ‘me’ time. I am cramming in the chilling where I can!
On that note, I am off. I hope you had a Happy Easter weekend…chocolate or no chocolate. Personally, I avoided it – I know that a little bit leads to a lot and I’d rather not jeopardise any progress…but I don’t begrudge anyone their food and sat with my family whilst they tucked into a full-on roast with all the trimmings and chocolate eggs! My food today looked like this:
Thank you for reading – and thank you for your support 99.9%ers…0.01%ers – don’t be a dick! 🙂