…I think this is bollocks myself and it really irritates me when you see fat people on TV talking about how healthy they are and spreading this message!
Before the ‘Big is Beautiful’ brigade hunt me down and beat me, let me clarify one thing – I do not care what you look like. If you enjoy being fat, then be fat. If you enjoy being skinny, then be skinny. I think that everyone absolutely deserves respect and kind treatment irrespective of looks and size – and you should be able to live your life without persecution. My personal view is that there are some stunning fat people out there and some stunning skinny people out there – and lots of stunners on the great big spectrum between the two. If you are happy with your body then fucking own it!
However – if you are one of those people who promote the ‘fat and healthy’ thing then I am afraid we may have to agree to differ. You can be gorgeous and amazing whatever your size…but healthy whatever your size? I am not so sure about this bit really.
I will explain…
It’s like Russian Roulette for me. If I gave you a gun with one loaded chamber, would you point it at your head and pull the trigger?
If you would, then you’re a braver person than I am.
Yet I have been playing Russian Roulette with my health for years.
In my 20′s I was sailing through life without any problems. I was well over 30st yet had no health issues. My blood pressure was perfect, my cholesterol levels were perfect, my blood sugar levels were perfect, my breathing was great, my mobility was good. Add in the fact that I had a great career, got my PgDip and Masters, had already bought two houses, drove a souped-up Mercedes sports, owned my beautiful horses, and had a bit of a handsome boyfriend…I thought I was fucking invincible!
So I was fat and oblivious in my 20’s…my health wasn’t affected – so I kept stuffing in the shite food and drinking…playing Russian Roulette with my health.
Fast forward a few years and I ended up with endometrial hyperplasia with incredibly high levels of cancerous cells. I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was told that I had a serious level of type 2 diabetes. And I recently got told that I had high blood pressure. All of these things were attributed to my weight…rightly or wrongly…my personal view is that these issues were directly caused by my weight.
So I decided to start taking care of myself – albeit I ballsed that up in the past 15 months, but seem to be getting myself back on track – and have managed to reverse my diabetes and ditch the hyperplasia and high blood pressure! Of course I wanted to focus on shifting my weight. I could not sustain being 43st 5.5lbs, which is the weight I reached when not taking care of myself. However, I knew that if I purely focused on losing weight then this wasn’t healthy for my mind, body, or soul. I knew that I had to take an holistic approach. I had to look at my weight, I had to look at nourishing my body, I had to look at changing my mindset, and I had to look at moving. These things – as a package – are an indicator of a healthy person.
Shifting the focus from pure weight loss to that of living a healthy lifestyle can often mean that weight loss is a side-effect. So you aren’t pursuing weight loss as a goal – as this can be all-consuming and at times we become desperate and resort to measures that aren’t healthy…weight loss pills, milk shakes, drinking nothing but juice…things that aren’t sustainable. What you are pursuing is a life of eating well, moving well, and taking care of the health of your body…learning to listen to it.
If I kept drilling you about your weight – how much you need to lose, what your average loss has been so far, how long it’s taken you, how long it might take you to reach that ideal weight, what did you lose last week, what do you hope to lose next week – it wouldn’t take long for you to absolutely hate the weighing scales…or hate yourself. And when that happens, you stop caring and your health takes a backseat.
However, if I asked you to focus on a wide range of things – eating a bit healthier, moving a bit more, taking some time for yourself, focusing on your mindset, listening to your body – and I asked you to do this on a weekly basis with the goal of just feeling good…well, that brings a whole new set of feelings. And if the result of you doing all of this was weight loss then that’s okay – it’s more than okay in fact!
So I do think that fat people can live a healthy lifestyle. But I don’t think that you can be fat and healthy – medically healthy. Your doctor knows your circumstances better than anyone else…but are you seriously telling me that your doctor is happy for you to remain fat – that they truly believe that your health isn’t going to be affected in the long term by your weight? Would they encourage you to play Russian Roulette? I don’t think so…and I don’t think that those who do promote the ‘fat and healthy’ message do either. I think they are in denial and playing one big game of who has the biggest balls – Russian Roulette!
I genuinely love the fact that we come in different shapes and sizes. I am looking forward to seeing what my body shape is once I have shifted a lot more fat. And this is my issue I guess…we do come in different shapes and sizes…but when our shape is determined by a huge layer of fat then I don’t feel that this is a good thing. I don’t like the ‘big is beautiful’ message – not because I think that the individual isn’t a gorgeous person but because I do have concerns about health and I have concerns about promoting fat as a good place to be. I look at my niece and nephew and want them to grow up happy and healthy and to live an active lifestyle – I want to set them a good example. I don’t think that example comes from being overweight and having the co-morbidities that often go hand in hand with the excess weight.
I won’t harp on too much more about this – I was recently accused of not being compassionate and being dismissive of the ‘fat and healthy’ movement. I am dismissive of it because I genuinely think it’s bollocks. I didn’t. I used to think that I was fat and healthy…until I wasn’t healthy anymore.
Personally, I want to give my body a fighting chance at living as long a life as possible – a long and healthy life. For me, remaining fat does not give me that fighting chance. For me, my weight and self-worth aren’t linked though…my weight and my health are linked. I like myself now – too much at times…I think I am fucking excellent! – and I will like myself as I continue to lose weight. I am not saying that fat is bad, or ugly, or horrid. I am just saying that I don’t think it’s healthy.
On that note, I am off – off to watch Made in Chelsea…I have a proper ‘thing’ for Proudlock and am hoping to catch a glimpse to store in the memory for when I need to go to my ‘happy place’! 😉
My food today has been good – and has been for a few weeks now…I am starting to worry that I might just be getting back on track!
Breakfast – mushroom, red onion, and spinach omelette.
Lunch – sardines, olives, tomatoes, and yellow pepper.
Diner – strawberries with ricotta cheese and nuts.
Thank you for reading my ramblings!