…everyone has one and I don’t want yours making an appearance in my inbox – thank you! 🙂
Do you think that was too harsh a response to the following?
Dear Miss ‘Bitch’,
I am not quite sure who you think you are. I read your blog this evening about the advice you get given. You should think yourself lucky and fortunate that there are people out there who wish to share their opinions with you. My initial findings are that you are stuck-up and rude and frankly I can’t understand why you have so many people who ‘follow’ you as I find the language you use certainly not what I would expect from someone in a position of influence. Then again to call you an ‘influence’ is a stretch of the imagination as I am not quite sure who you would be influencing, let alone inspiring, with your crude description of your life.
I laughed so hard when I read that. I mean for fuck’s sake, who has the time to write this shit?! Hahahaha – it’s quite entertaining getting this type of email on a Friday evening after stressful day…it really does tickle me that someone feels so aggrieved by my ramblings that they take the time to email me! I love it – but please, if you are reading this and hoping to send me something similar, I’ll probably tell you to fuck off – or something far more crude just to keep Elinor in emails! 😉
How’s this for crude then Elinor – I arrived home tonight and asked Mr WLB to come upstairs and spank me…but as he’d had a danger-wank just before I got home, he was all spanked-out! 🙂
Right then, now on to the serious stuff – hahaha…I am still laughing at that email!
Anyway – today has been a bit crazy – one of ‘those’ days. I was up early for a conference call – that was cancelled just before it was due to start. I then went to get in my car to head to work early to find a nail stuck in my tyre – so I had to get it to an air pump and hope that it lasted the day. My security pass for work was playing up and I got stuck outside as no-one had arrived and the security guards ‘didn’t hear me’ ringing to get in. Then the crisp factory that I work next to was in cooking mode – and all I have been sniffing all day is the waft of crisp air coming through the window. I then decided to regale my team with a comedic account of the conference yesterday – and realised that the directors who I was doing impressions of were in the room next door…the room with very thin partition walls. Then I went to get my car out to go to the gym – it was blocked in by a van that nobody could find the owner of…I forgave him though as he was really lovely and had a cool beard! I was shattered at the gym and Alex tricked me into doing one more round – I moaned about having a choice between ‘shit’ and ‘shitter’ and when asked what I going for I said ‘SHIT!’ Maybe Elinor has a point… And then it was back to work for a shower and change – only to find that I had left my change of clothes at home…so I showered and put back on sweaty clothes – delightful. Finally, I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way home – outside a chip shop!
Hahaha – I do love comedy days like this. When you set out with the best of intentions and those best-laid plans go awry!
Although the team and I were given lots of compliments today by some lovely guys on the site we are helping to re-home into new roles at work…despite having lots of grief off them this week.
So to come home and read that delight from the lovely Elinor was an additional bit of light relief that I needed…especially as Mr WLB wasn’t up for a spanking session! 😉
I was wondering if I should reply with something more sensible…something along the lines of:
Let me tell you a little about myself…
I am a 34 year old who still feels and acts like an 18 year old. I haven’t yet decided what I want to be when I ‘grow up’ so telling you who I think I am may be a challenge that I am not equipped to handle – although my LinkedIn profile has some good recommendations; maybe that would help…and I don’t use the word ‘cunt’ on there either, so the language used may better suit your reading desires. Although the recommendations may irk you as they really are quite good and I wouldn’t want you to feel too much shock over the fact that someone with my lacking character is actually quite well thought of.
If I had wanted people to share their opinions with me, I would ask a lot more questions. Questions such as, ‘Why do oxygen stealers feel the need to send emails to people that they don’t know? And why do they not just stop reading and get on with their life? And why do they feel the need to give an opinion and advice on a blog requesting that you don’t give advice? I am left wondering whether your mother should have swallowed instead.
Thank you for calling me stuck-up and rude…it’s the exact vibe that I want to give out to people who have no sense of humour and take life too seriously – so I appreciate you validating that I am hitting the nail on the head. I shall sleep like a baby now knowing that I have finally got something right in life. 🙂
As for the ‘followers’ I genuinely have no idea why they follow me either. Perhaps they appreciate someone who struggles, and battles on regardless, sharing their journey. Perhaps they appreciate seeing someone not giving up. Perhaps they quite like the bad language and ‘too much information’ moments as it makes them feel a little more ‘normal’ – whatever the heck normal is…I have a feeling that your interpretation and mine on that issue would differ greatly.
When it comes to ‘influence’ I never set out to influence anyone. However, if you think that I am influential then I am extremely flattered and my only hope for these ‘followers’ is that they treat their detractors with the disdain that they deserve and that they don’t let people like this derail them. To be honest Elinor, I can’t think of anything more inspiring than a fat girl who sat next to a crisp factory all day and then got stuck in a traffic jam next to a chippy and still came home and made a dinner with lots of green shit in it!
On that note, I am going to bid you adieu as I can’t hold back my language any longer as my tolerance for cunts is limited…and would hate to offend!
I promise that I will spend some time this weekend thinking about the sensible shit that someone in my position should be writing – just to appease those readers of Elinor’s ilk – although I have a feeling that they are few and far between…the 0.01%ers.
The rest of my weekend is going to be spent relaxing, seeing my niece and nephew, spending some time with the horses, and fitting in some exercise – although my Polar heart rate monitor seemed to have died today…either that, or my heart is knackered.
My food today has been fab:
Breakfast – Duck eggs with smoked salmon, baby plum tomatoes, and wilted spinach.
Lunch – Smoked salmon, mixed peppers, red onion, avocado, and olives.
Dinner – Shredded brussel sprouts, smoked bacon, asparagus, broccoli, spinach, button mushrooms, and edam cheese.
Thank you – as always – for reading! 🙂
P.S. If you are wondering what a ‘danger-wank’ is, apparently it’s a teenage boy thing – calling a family member to your room whilst you are furiously tugging yourself off…watch the new Jimmy Carr session on Netflix for more info – although be warned that the danger-wank description is closely followed by the ‘glazing’ account. It’s quite amusing! 😉