Russell Kane is one of my favourite comedians – he’s such a funny guy…I love him! Mr WLB and I had a mid-week date night and spent Thursday evening laughing – it’s good for the soul!
Part of his show centred on him heading to a Slimming World group with his best mate Eve. He had me in stitches talking about how people who had lost a nano-pound were clapped and cheered and how people who hadn’t lost any weight at all got rapturous applause. Then he hit on the syns – which he thinks is a crazy way of measuring food and given that the group took place in a church hall…talking about sins felt cult-like. The size of the jacket potatoes that people have was thrown in there…that turn to sugar. Honestly – it was hilarious and I am not doing him any justice at all. I guess he got me thinking about how I have been eating over the years – or over-eating! – and Slimming World in general…which I still love, but don’t necessarily buy into in a traditional sense.
Anyway, I then spotted a post that he had written last year – when he was getting in shape – and thought I’d share it with you…
Long Diary Post for anyone interested in food or nutrition.
I don’t normal intellectually masturbate about diets and nutrition – not on here anyway (after all, who the F*** am I?), but people keep asking what I eat to stay so energetic and in relative shape now that I’m descending into early middle age wahhhh (skinny jeans denial).
Firstly. I am NOT naturally flat stomached. I wish I were. My natural state if I eat any shit I like is: slim with a flabby belly – about 12 stones.
Secondly – ALL DIETS ARE BOLLOCKS. Do not attempt any Atkins, or anything extreme. You can almost guarantee that after a year or two, when you start heaving at the thought of whatever bizarre juicing/5:2 regime you’re on, you’ll go back to normal and be fatter than when you started your ill-fated extreme scheme.
Thirdly – mostly girls – stop with the laughable Slimming World et al shite. Loaded with sugar, carb-heavy mouse-portions that leave you starving, and, I GUARANTEE – will leave the majority of you fatter after five years (I’m talking 90% of dieters). Don’t believe me – google the stats.
So. What do I do? I HATE GOING TO THE GYM. and I LOVE FATTY FOOD. Solution: don’t go to the gym, eat fatty food.
I exercise at home. A 50 minute routine 3 times a week that I actually stick to.
I eat as much fat and protein as I like, and I keep my carbs around 50g Net a day (For example, Sweet Potato is 20% carbs, so 100g of Sweet Potato yields 20g net – geddit?) I eat five times a day. yes: The solution is to EAT MORE. Eat loads. Just don’t eat sugar (Truvia as a substitute if you must), wheat if you can avoid it (decent brown bread if you must). Chow down brown rice and sweet spuds as your carbs – there’s loads of other stuff too Quinoa etc.
I eat as much cheese as I effing well like. And clotted cream. I make scones with flaxseeds, ground almonds and eggs. And I eat eff-loads of them. Eat eggs until you cluck. Drink full fat milk. And eat 10 minutes before bed time if you like – eff rules that can’t be stuck too unless you’re Buddha.
Now. One last point, then I’ll shut up and get back to my jester-hat sit-ups. Cholesterol. A lot of dog-shit is spoken about saturated fat and heart disease. I am far from a scientific study, but I can tell you the following as fact. In Jan 2013 I measured my LDL/HDL ratio – that’s the difference between the good and the bad cholesterol in my body. I was already exercising (at home) and eating my lower carb, meaty/fatty diet i.e. 50-100g net a day. My ratio in Jan 2013 was 35%. Healthy. I then ramped up the fat (I also dropped to 70g net carbs a day – still plenty, not Atkins bullshit). Ramping is an understatement – from Feb 2013 to December 2014 – nearly two years, I ate as much saturated fat as I could each day. I’m talking steak twice a day, back onto full fat milk, clotted cream, flax seeds, olive oils, as much coconut oil and cheese as Iiked (pounds of cheese). My ratio in December 2014: 37% UNCHANGED. Conclusion – fat doesn’t make you fat or deposit fat in your arteries. On the contrary, fat and protein forces the body into ‘ketosis’ where it lives off fat. The only way I get a difference in my belly (visceral fat – the stuff that KILLS YOU IN YOUR 50s) and my blood-sugar level is when I radically increase the carbohydrate content of my diet. This makes scientific sense. The cause of heart disease is much more likely to be the over-production of Insulin, and the storage of the fat cells CAUSED BY INSULIN. Try getting your blood sugar to increase by eating fat. Measure it. You can get a diabetic kit off Amazon. Eat a fat piece of cheese then measure your blood sugar change. NEAR ZERO. Do the same with a cake. Boom.
So. Do sit-ups and dumbells in your lounge, give up bread and sugar. And pirouette. A lot. This is not by any means science, but it’s what this monkey does.
So there we have it – Russell Kane and his views on getting in shape.
I have to say that I agree with him…after a lot of fucking trial and error – and many attempts at SlimFast, various pills, Cabbage Soup, a milk only diet, ready meal diets, juicing, smoothies, fasting…the list goes on! There is so much evidence now linked to increasing fat in the diet and that carbohydrates – the shitty ones – are to be avoided. I am really interested in seeing where Slimming World go with this – if anywhere. Part of me knows that many of my fellow Slimming World losers wouldn’t even have signed up if they couldn’t eat some of the stuff allowed. Yet another part of me knows many people who have moved away from Slimming World and are doing well. I am a fan – and I have adapted the plan to suit my high fat and low carb preferences…yet I get so many queries about it and feel that my diet is now seen as strange as I don’t wallop Muller Lights and bananas down my neck anymore.
Time will tell.
I have a feeling that Russell Kane is on to something though. And he looks fucking good for it!
I’ll finish up there are it’s been a long day – spent in the fresh air and sunshine in good company and I am now shattered!
Today’s food looked like this:
Breakfast – Chicken breast, spinach, and avocado.
Lunch – M&S beef teriyaki bites.
Dinner – Tuna steak with asparagus, tenderstem broccoli, and sunflower and pumpkin seeds.
Thank you for reading,