I am going to try and keep this short(ish!) and sweet(ish!) as I am in a foul mood today and think I just want to watch football and be grumpy!
Today I have been giving more thought to some of the challenges that stand in our way – in particular my feelings surrounding dependency.
I really struggle when I see people becoming dependent on people.
Especially people in the health and fitness industry.
I am not going to go into a big preamble and lead into this…I’ll just get stuck in.
I have seen a lot of people hanging on to every word that ‘professionals’ say. I know that people pay a fortune for event after event and make no progress. I have seen people travel the length of the country just to get a fucking photograph and a hug from someone. I see people buying books, DVDs, watching YouTube videos, and listening to Podcasts…in the hope that someone will be able to give them the magic silver fucking bullet to solve their problems.
There is no bullet.
You have the answers within you.
‘Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.’
I love this quote as it sums up my thinking succinctly – and in a far polite a manner than I do!
I am by no means saying that you – I – don’t need help. I think the focus should be upon what help you get, from whom, and what you think that help looks like. If you are expecting a trainer or a coach or a fitness celebrity to give you all of the answers for success then you won’t get anywhere. A trainer can help you train. A coach can help uncover the answers that you have within you. A fitness celebrity…well, they generally look good and if that gives you the motivation to get in the gym, then fair play! They can help you be accountable for the changes you are pledging to make.
Nobody is going to be able to help you get where you want to be unless you are prepared to put in the hard work and dedication required to change.
YOU have the do the work.
Whilst I am really enjoying my training and love working with Alex, if that situation should change – perhaps I might move away for a new role – I strongly doubt that I will fall into a fucking bucket of KFC and wallow there. I am the one doing the hard work. And that’s the way it should be.
Nobody else can do it for you.
I have written and talked about the Cinderella Story before. The fairytale we all expect to live in when we hit our health and weight goals. The truth is that there is no fucking Cinderella Story…if your life is shit now, then it’s likely to be shit at your goal weight. The only difference will be that you can fit your arse into smaller chairs and smaller jeans and won’t knock things off tables with the aforementioned arse as you walk past!
I have become complacent in a lot of areas – maybe complacent is the wrong term…I think I have chosen to ignore certain behaviour from people as it served a purpose for me. But life moves on and people change and in order to achieve what I want to achieve I reckon I need to take a look at the people and things that are in my life. Without getting too deep, I am on a mission to clear out the shit…so that my Cinderella Story can start right now…before I shift the weight!
Anyway – fuck Cinderella – I was talking about dependency.
One of the things that irritates me more than anything is laziness. I don’t mean sitting on the sofa lazy, or getting in your car to go to the shop when you could walk lazy…fuck – I do that all of the time! I mean lazy when it comes to creating your future, or seeking the answers you need in order to make progress.
We have access to more information than we ever have before. If I am working on a project and get stuck, and my colleagues also draw a blank, I can hit LinkedIn or Business Balls or Google and find something to help. We live in a connected world with the answer to any question readily available.
Yet when it comes to weight loss and health and fitness, I see people getting lazy – or rather putting their fate in someone else’s hands…becoming dependent and spoon-fed. Asking questions and seeking answers that they could find for themselves. I wrote last night about not giving away your only power – the power of choice. Yet we are quick to give away the power we have when it comes to seeking answers. We read a book by a celebrity trainer and take everything they say as gospel. Or we read our Slimming World books and don’t take the time to look any deeper into the mechanics of why and how the plan works – things like your Healthy Extras equating to 120 kcals each…and your 15 syns equating to 300 kcals…and the Muller Light ‘free’ yogurts equating to 99 kcals…and MugShots equating to 260 kcals…and a tin of baked beans equating to 300 kcals…when you start looking behind the ‘free’ and the ‘HE’ and understand how the calories add up, it’s easy to see why you might not lose every week if you are enjoying snacks and a lot of free food etc.
Fuck it – I am far from perfect and have made so many mistakes it’s untrue. And I will continue to make mistakes as I always think that I know best and generally have to fuck up before I make a change!
But the one thing that I have going in my favour is my curiosity and my desire not to be dependant. I can guarantee that I am not dependent on anyone and can only lay the blame for my mistakes at my own feet…I retain the power as I am the one making the decisions…does that make sense?! I like to look under the surface and find out why someone is telling me to do something – in fact I frustrated the guys that I work with at the hospital on the weight loss team there as I always question stuff. I don’t blindly follow their advice. I put myself through a nutrition course. I read every book I could find about the psychology of weight loss. I went to Warwick Uni and took a coaching course to complement the years of practice I have in that field. I want and need to understand the mechanics behind stuff…because if the logic doesn’t stack up then I don’t think the results stack up.
Take the faddy fucking diets out there. Forever Living shite, HerbalLife, JuicePlus – fucking JuicePlus…when you can show me a JuicePlus tree with the capsules growing on it, I might just then believe that it really is natural – anyway…take the faddy diets. If you look at the small print, they all say that they work in conjunction with a calorie controlled diet and exercise. Guess what, if you follow a calorie controlled diet and exercise, the weight will come off without that shit…and you’ll save a stack of £££s as well as losing lbs!
But I am going off on one – I really am in a strop today and should call it quits here and now…
I will wrap up by saying ‘Do your research’. If everything is going swimmingly well for you, and the weight is coming off and you are moving closer to your health goals…then carry the fuck on and keep going. But if things have stalled, or you are constantly looking to others to provide the answers for you, then maybe it’s time to get a bit of decent help and do your own research…after all, you know yourself better than anyone else does! And the one person you can guarantee on sticking around is you…so create your independence!
On that note, my food for the day has been tasty – but I haven’t really felt bothered about eating. I grabbed brunch from the M&S petrol station as I was on my way out to eat but the place wasn’t up and running today due to an electrical fault…so I ended up with a Moroccan butternut squash salad and some salmon. That filled me up for most of the day until we had a little BBQ in the garden this evening – a couple of burgers with loads of greens, mushrooms, tenderstem broccoli, and mozzarella:
Thank you for reading…and putting up with my moody days!