You can contact me by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal.
Living in England as a 33 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss!
With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Instagram-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge! Oh and if you are feeling bored send me a Snapchat. My username is weightlossbitch.
I have a wonderful support network around me which includes the support of Slimming World and my group members, and my family and friends – both virtual and non-virtual! My 6 year old niece is my little ‘Miss Motivator’ and keeps me on track; she has even been to a few Slimming World sessions with me and is learning all about healthy eating too. I really want to spend more time running around in the park with her and my nephew…I don’t want to miss out on this part of their lives.
My horses are a big part of my life too. I have four horses – a Shetland, a Welsh Cob and two Spanish Normans – who are not ridden for obvious reasons at the moment, but who provide me with a good deal of motivation to succeed.
Anyway…enough of the boring stuff…here is an extract from a blog post…25 Random Facts / Confessions from the Weight Loss Bitch…
1. I had an obsession with wallpaper as a child.
Peeling it off the walls – even when we weren’t decorating – and also for pressing in the air bits on anaglypta wallpaper. The worst thing about this fact is that I used to blame my little sister for peeling the wallpaper off…and have never admitted that! Sorry sis!
2. I rebuild food.
Namely burgers – and mentioned this to a fellow blogger who also does the same thing! I cannot stand burgers with straggly lettuce, or cheese that hangs over the edge. So I take them apart, eat the gherkins first, eat most of the salad, peel the cheese off the edge and any that has stuck to the box, reassemble the burger and will only eat it once it’s gone cold! I don’t have to do this much anymore…as I make my own burgers instead of buying them from McDonalds or Burger King.
3. Sweaty nose.
I have a really sweaty nose – and it’s not a fat chick thing…I have always had this, even as a child! So I can often be found doing a sneaky little move to wipe it off. It sweats when I am sitting doing nothing too – very strange.
4. I pick up accents and phrases really quickly.
If you asked me to ‘do’ an accent, I probably couldn’t do it justice. But if you sat me with someone and I had a conversation with them, I would very quickly be sounding like they do and using the same language and colloquialisms. It can seem as if I am taking the mickey, but I never used to know I did it until I worked in Glasgow and was using all sorts of wonderful words within a week of being there!
5. I eat crisps in flavour order.
You rarely get a multipack of your favourite flavour French Fries – unless you want just Worcester Sauce ones..which are lovely. But they aren’t Cheese and Onion! So I eat the Salt and Vinegar ones first, and then alternate Ready Salted and Cheese and Onion…but always finish with a Cheese and Onion packet. This sounds awful, as if I regularly eat a multipack – well, I used to eat a multipack each day – but try and confine this now to once per week for 24 syns!
6. I share a birthday with Tupac Shakur and Eddie Cibrian!
I am a Gemini – my birthstone is Pearl – my flower is a Rose – my lucky number is 5 – and my tree is the Elder tree…apparently! I don’t like ‘normal’ pearls though but instead have some keshi fresh water ones…and I am not a huge rose fan…I like gerberas and tulips!
7. I owned Madonna.
Who was my goldfish – a very aggressive goldfish who actually ate my other ones and lived for bloody years…until she started swimming upside down and then died.
8. Shoe obsession.
As a child – and in fact now – I had a shoe obsession. I would take my new shoes to bed with me as I didn’t want to let them out of my sight…the day I got my ‘Secret Key’ shoes was immense; I could hardly sleep as I spent all night staring at them. I also seem to recall being put to bed in my red wellies – which I was inseparable from…along with my red hard hat…but I was about five and can be forgiven!
9. I check the age of my on-screen crushes!
Most recent age check was whilst watching ‘My Mad Fat Diary’ and lusting over Finn – or Nico Mirallegro. Luckily, it turned out he is 22, so it was all fine and not illegal in the slightest!
10. I check the age of actresses too!
This is also for lust reasons…but only lusting for their body to be my body. My logic is that if they are a few years older than me, I’ve still got time to achieve a good body and play catch up! I know this is plainly ludicrous, and have tried not to do this – as it is just not going to happen. But I did recently check the age of Sarah on Neighbours…Nicola Charles…who is 43, so this might be more achievable – haha!
11. Stair creeping.
I used to have to go to bed at the same time as my little sister, which I thought was incredibly unfair, and so I would sneak downstairs – when my Dad was on nights – to watch Dallas with my Mum. However, my sister was a light sleeper, so if she moved, I would freeze until I could hear that her breathing was normal again. This meant I became the master of avoiding the creaky parts of the stairs…but one night, I was stuck on one step for so long as my sister was restless, that I wet my pants and Mum had to clean me up!
Seeing faces in clouds is fairly common I believe, but I also see them in wood grain and tree shadows. As a regular nighttime toilet goer, I never switch the light on as I don’t want to wake my other half up…and so there are lots of shadows cast on the back of the bathroom door. I can either see what looks like a depiction of Jesus, or the Devil, depending on which way you look at it. There is also a rabbit too. The trees in my garden cast shadows on my bedroom wall and I also fight with my other half to keep the curtains open so I can see them at night, as I find it quite therapeutic!
13. Line up!
Another random fact, and weird habit that I have, is lining things up. Not in the physical sense…I don’t have to have things neatly lined up, but I will sit there and hold my hand in the air and try and line the edge of my hand up with the edge of the TV screen. I like the line of my hand and the edge of the TV to be perfectly straight and will sometimes sit there for ages trying to achieve this. I occasionally use my feet to do this to. It can be TV screens, or the corners of walls, or the fireplace…anything with a straight edge that I can get my hand to line up with!!
14. Eye switching.
I also love closing and opening my eyes – i.e. I will have my left eye closed and my right one open and then switch this to my left eye open and my right eye closed. I like this because things move and look as if they are closer than they really are. And I know you’re trying it as you read this – haha! It works, doesn’t it?!
15. Split ends!
About fifteen years ago I had a major issue with split ends…not that I had many, but I just hate them. So I used to keep a pair of scissors on my desk and would spend hours whilst I was on the phone trimming the ends of my hair, strand by strand! I used to have to sweep my desk each night and the bin ended up loaded with little tiny hairs. Luckily, I am over this now…but still hate seeing them.
16. Naming things.
I name things – and the names tend to be male names for some reason. So my car is Freddie Freelander, the remote control is called Derrie, my old car was Mike Mercedes, and I had Gary Golf too. My hands are called Mitt 1 and Mitt 2…as they look like boxing gloves…not because I like Mitt Romney! My feet are Trotter 1 and Trotter 2 as, yes, they look like little pigs feet. And I have evened christened my boobs Barry and Larry – oh, the shame. My candlestick in the bedroom is called Winston and I also owned something called Vinnie…but I will leave you guessing as to what Vinnie was!
17. I love the ‘C’ word!
I don’t swear much, but when I do unleash it is the foulest tirade you will ever hear. I can’t even blame this on working in male dominated environments, although that type of language does seem to be more accepted if it’s used by men, as I have always been like this. Once I hear a naughty word, it gets stuck in my head and, if I know it is particularly offensive, I just seem to use it even more. My other half says that I rarely go for a day without using the ‘C’ word, especially when I am driving…and my reason for this is that I think it has a good mouth feel and people can clearly lip read what you are calling them. ‘Wanker’ is also good for this reason! I have to say that I rarely swear in public though – never at work (maybe under my breath!) and never when public speaking…so don’t worry about inviting me to talk at your Slimming World groups!
18. Hate bones.
Urgh! If you give me a piece of food or a meal, and I find a bone in it, it makes me feel sick and I won’t eat anymore of it. I have paid a fortune in the past for lovely pieces of fish, only to get a bone in the first piece and I then end up feeding the rest to the dog or leaving it. So when I mentioned my KFC fetish in past blogs, it was always a boneless bucket that did it for me!
19. Vivid dreams.
Suffering from vivid dreams is a nightmare at times – if you’ll forgive the pun! It doesn’t happen so much now, but I used to have dreams and would wake up convinced that they were real. This was especially the case when I went to bed after a drunken night out…I would convince myself that a particular guy I used to talk to was lovely – based on the contents of my dream – even though in real life he was a dick! It really messed with my head and I must have walked around in some alternate reality for a few years when I was at my clubbing peak…and I wasn’t even dabbling in drugs, so can’t blame that.
20. Pretended I was a hairdresser.
I still laugh when I think about this! I somehow managed to convince my other half that I had trained to be a hairdresser…even though he’s known me for a few years and I’d never once before mentioned it. It was because I wanted to cut his messy hair! Anyway, such a good of convincing him I did, that he let me loose with some sharp Whal scissors…it was awful, bless him. I had to call my Dad and ask him to bring his clippers over and had cut it so badly in places that the only solution was a skinhead all over. Luckily, he saw the funny side – as did everyone else apart from his Gran who loved his hair the way it was!
21. And a DJ!
When I got my first job in internal recruitment, rather than agency recruitment, I was really thrown in at the deep end. I was working for a rapidly growing company and ended up taking part in strategic planning meetings, as I was the only HR type person they had…and I was intimidated at times by the characters involved! It was all men, all with big egos, and I didn’t really have huge amounts to say – even though what I did say was gold! Anyway, at the start of these meetings we would do an icebreaker and one of them was to come up with a random fact and we had to guess who it belonged to. So I fibbed, to make my life sound more interesting! Everyone knew I had horses, so I couldn’t use that, and I wasn’t really that interesting…they were all a lot older than me and had more life experiences. So I wrote that I DJ’d in clubs…needless to say they didn’t guess it was mine for quite some time!
22. Told people I was mugged.
Now this one is truly awful – and I haven’t done anything like this since! When I was seventeen I had a job I loved, but one day I just couldn’t be bothered to go to work. So I called my boss and as the phone was ringing I just panicked and couldn’t think of what to say, despite having planned on telling him it was a 24hr sickness bug. And the lie just tumbled out of mouth…I told him I had been mugged at a cashpoint and had been roughed up in the process. Now this is obviously an awful thing to do – he was so sympathetic and told me to take the rest of the week off, and longer if I needed it. I felt so bad, but felt like a total fraud and criminal when flowers arrived for me, and a get well soon card along with a CD that they had bought for me. I cannot describe how bad I felt doing that and haven’t done anything like it since – I even gave the CD to a charity shop! I never confessed and felt sick to my stomach walking into work for the first time after my lie. It was a stupid, childish thing to do – I was seventeen and just wanted a lazy day in bed, but had read about a mugging in the paper the night before…and some subconscious part of me must have thought I would get less grief for being off through a mugging than a sickness bug! I am now far too honest for my own good…I cannot lie after having done this!
23. Clumsy but practical.
I am incredibly clumsy with practical things. What I mean by this is that I am great with practical tasks, such as Ikea flat pack, but I will always drop screws and end up searching for ages for them. So whilst the flat pack is always built well, the fiddly bits cause me issues! The same goes for when I when I was counting my beads into my ‘lbs to go’ and ‘lbs lost’ jars…the buggers ended up all over the place.
24. Pencil cases.
I used to love buying new pencil cases for school – but only if I could sniff them first as I loved the smell of the plastic! I was gutted when pencil tins became de rigueur and instead developed a habit for scraping the paint off them and having a silver tin…yes, I was a little weird!
25. I Tweet from the throne!
This is a new addition to the list of random facts and weirdness – but I have started sending my goodnight tweet from the loo just before I go to bed for some reason! Haha!
Thank you for reading…and check out the daily blog to share the highs and lows with me…